Words can make you wince

[swee'pea99]

Googling to see whether anyone else suffers from shorts that drag down at the back when climbing hills, I bumped into the following wee anecdote on another (American) forum...

"A few days ago I was on the Strada cruising happily homewards along the river when a small blurred missile flew out of the bushes by the road, entangled itself briefly in my damp leg hairs--stinging the hell out of my inner calf as it struggled to get free--and then flew directly up the right sleeve my shorts. There, whatever it was nestled tickingly between my thigh and my right testicle, thinking it had found somewhere safe.

Very, very gingerly, in piercing, breathtaking pain from the sting on my leg and in near terror at the possibilty of getting stung in a vastly more sensitive area, I stopped, and with infinite care, dismounted. I pulled my shorts down, right there in the middle of the street, whereupon a large hornet or wasp about an inch in length and with long stringy legs trailing beneath it, disengaged itself from my crotch, performed a few lazy victory laps around my quivering knees and flew off."

Yikes, or what!

 

[Mugshot]

Oh I see, I thought you meant "vasectomy" or something like that, but yes I certainly see your point.

 

[NorthernDave]

 

[Spinney]

That made me wince and I haven't even got those bits of anatomy!

 

[screenman]

Would not have got up the leg of decent fitting Lycra.

 

[PeteXXX]

Ooooch! That could've hurt..
I had a small wasp land on my testicles a year or so ago, whilst out on a ride, and realised that swatting it wasn't going to be the best option! lol

 

[Hugh Manatee]

If we ever meet and have a few drinks, I might relay a similar story the conclusion of which has me gingerly checking between the happy sacs looking for a very angry waspy thing and hearing a tap on the window and seeing the Avon lady! This sorry event had kicked of in Tesco ten minutes earlier!

 

[PeteXXX]

Would not have got up the leg of decent fitting Lycra.

I reckon a hornet's a*se dagger is longer than the thickness of even the finest of lycra..

 

[screenman]

I reckon a hornet's a*se dagger is longer than the thickness of even the finest of lycra..

Would not have flown up the right sleeve of his shorts though.

 

[Crackle]

If we ever meet and have a few drinks, I might relay a similar story the conclusion of which has me gingerly checking between the happy sacs looking for a very angry waspy thing and hearing a tap on the window and seeing the Avon lady! This sorry event had kicked of in Tesco ten minutes earlier!

You have to reveal all now, otherwise every thread you post in, I'll follow you with that quote and ask you to explain it. And I'm very persistent.

 

[Levo-Lon]

I had a wasp crawl up the inside of my visor while travaling at over 120mph..
it was very badly injured and very annoyed..i went cross eyed while performing an amaizing emergency stop..ut a Hornet is a propper nasty bstard..

 

[Eribiste]

Other people's words can make me wince. Like David Cameron talking about Nigeria. Or telling me how amazingly wonderful it is to be in Europe.

 

[ColinJ]

Googling to see whether anyone else suffers from shorts that drag down at the back when climbing hills, I bumped into the following wee anecdote on another (American) forum...

"A few days ago I was on the Strada cruising happily homewards along the river when a small blurred missile flew out of the bushes by the road, entangled itself briefly in my damp leg hairs--stinging the hell out of my inner calf as it struggled to get free--and then flew directly up the right sleeve my shorts. There, whatever it was nestled tickingly between my thigh and my right testicle, thinking it had found somewhere safe.

Very, very gingerly, in piercing, breathtaking pain from the sting on my leg and in near terror at the possibilty of getting stung in a vastly more sensitive area, I stopped, and with infinite care, dismounted. I pulled my shorts down, right there in the middle of the street, whereupon a large hornet or wasp about an inch in length and with long stringy legs trailing beneath it, disengaged itself from my crotch, performed a few lazy victory laps around my quivering knees and flew off."

Yikes, or what!

Been there, suffered that, pounded my willy - LINK!

 

[snorri]

It's the shorts with sleeves that fascinate me.