Worlds worst dad jokes.

[Chris S]

A Welsh charity are looking for donations for their 1970's auction. They've had donations from Slade and Wizzard but they don't know if Abergavenny.

 

[Chris S]

What do hungry parrots eat?
Polyfilla.

 

[Chris S]

Which fish lives for the moment?
Carp Diem.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

 

[Sharky]

I may be repeating this joke, but it's funny .....

Just found out that it's illegal for people living in our village to be buried in the village cemetery!

Spoiler: Why?

they are living!

 

[Chris S]

I've got a pen that can write underwater.
It can write other words as well.

 

[Chris S]

I've got a friend who buys scratch cards and works in a dog food factory He seems to win a lot.

 

[Sharky]

I've got a friend who buys scratch cards and works in a dog food factory He seems to win a lot.

Ha ha, needed to read that twice!

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Did you hear about the blike who drank invisible ink? He’s at the hospital waiting to be seen.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

 

[Chris S]

Which singer gets taller in the heat?
Freddie Mercury.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Why did the menopausal woman cross the road?
To kill the chicken.

 

[PeteXXX]

Optician: Your eye test results are in.

Me: Can I see them?

Optician: Probably not.... 👀

 

[postman]

What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?

You can't wash your hands in a buffalo.

You have to say that in a Brummie accent.

 

[lenfield]

A man called me on the phone and said, "Prince Charming, Prince Charming, ridicule is nothing to be scared of."
I tried to tell him that he had got the wrong number but he was adamant.