Your best lie....

[Melvil]

Saying I was a professional poet on a daytime TV quiz show.

 

[Smokin Joe]

"No, of course I won't come in your mouth..."

 

[longers]

I had a bet with myself that you would say that .

 

[Chuffy]

I had a bet with myself that you would say that .

But did you believe him?

 

[TheDoctor]

'It was second hand on ebay'
'They're not new, I've had them for years'
They're not new, you bought them for me three years ago. They were my birthday present!'

 

[Rhythm Thief]

"I won't be buying any more guitars/bikes/camera lenses until I've saved up some money." I lie to both myself and my girlfriend, quite successfully!

 

[longers]

*still can't think of a suitable response to Chuffy*


Filthy minded Sloth

 

[Abitrary]

I once convinced a girl that the nobbly paving at road crossings was Braille that blind people can read with their feet.

ex-cell-ent!!!!

I'm going to convince someone of that, if only a senile member of my extended family, in the next year

 

[Chuffy]

*still can't think of a suitable response to Chuffy*


Filthy minded Sloth

My work here is done.

 

[Jaded]

Looking at the ruins of Bolton Abbey:

"You've got to hand it to the Germans, navigating all the way here and getting a direct hit"

 

[gbb]

One that used to give me great satisfaction...

A managers pestering me for something....

'I'm a bit busy right now, but come and see me Monday and i'll sort it'.......

Knowing full well i was going to be on holiday on Monday



And that was a managers fault.
I asked him once....'Max, you just lied to him'...

'I know', he said.....'send them away happy if you havvnt got a solution, at least for now'
Worry about it later.....hes gone away happy

 

[gbb]

Another work one....

Work was very intense and involved at my last employer...many many many things to sort and remember. Of course, occasionally something got forgotten.
Big boss said to me one day 'wheres that gearbox this lines waiting for ?'

Fkit...i forgot..i thought


I looked the boss in the eye...'Its ordered, i'll go chase it up'

He looked me in the eye...'Phone them from here' he said looking at a phone.

...hes rumbled me !!!!

'I cant, i havnt got the number on me'

He knew, i knew he knew, he knows i know he knows

 

[Joe24]

The best one that i do, very often is at the paper shop. The guy asks me if i can do an extra round. I dont want to because it will take me ages to do it, and i wont be able to go out on my bike for aslong. So i say no, i have to go out. They will ask me now where i'm going, so i say i have to go shopping with my mum to help her out. One day they asked me if it was late opening in town, it wast, so i said no, were going in to town, then going to the supermarket after we had done.
The thing was, the shops in town would have shut by the time that we had got there.

 

[Slowgrind]

Told one of the lads at work that the Liverpool manager had resigned. In seconds it was all round the firm with people telling me that Raffa had gone! When I came clean only the Liverpool fans couldn`t see the funny side of it!

 

[alecstilleyedye]

a group of us convinced a girl on a school trip to paris that the eglise de sacre cour (sp?) on montmartre was in fact a giant saltwater aquarium, where you could feed crayfish to the sharks.

with hindsight, her obvious gulability might have been put to better use