You're on a bike!

[Dan B]

"you don't pay road tax"

"No, well, I don't pay for sex either"

 

[jimboalee]

or stick your pump in their ear and blow their brains out!







Only joking.

The trouble is...

getting into a position to allow the insertion.

 

[gaz]

"No, well, I don't pay for sex either"

Haha nice!

 

[DrSquirrel]

"Your wheel is going (a)round..." is an old one.

 

[NigC]

The only ones I seem to get are incomprehensable shouts (usually from passengers or kids on the path). I'm sure it's very funny, but I never seem to catch what they say

I did have a good one while walking a few days ago: A guy (while driving) decided to blow his air horn when passing me. But it was such a pathetic little sound I coulnd't help but laugh

 

[661-Pete]

Does "Gerroff and milk it!" still have currency (oop t'North)?

 

[Jezston]

The only ones I seem to get are incomprehensable shouts (usually from passengers or kids on the path). I'm sure it's very funny, but I never seem to catch what they say

Thats a point. Only times I've ever been shouted at have been them saying things like:
"gyeeeeeerrrrnipkle"
"havayaaaaaaaagjuk"
"glokooooooooooobajig"

 

[Jezston]

Just remembered there's a video out there taking the piss out of this phenomenon (starring a women in a bike disguised as a car) but I can't find it

 

[Beardie]

Years ago, the sight of me on my old F-frame Moulton attracted shouts of various kinds on the theme of the diminutive size of my wheels. Then the micro-scooter arrived and these taunts, curiously, stopped.

 

[DrSquirrel]

I've had someone shout "watch out", as I passed them on their bike, they were not looking behind at all and pretty much on the otherside of the road sauntering about...

I agree with everyone else on the random shouts of nothing legible... usually I ignore it but usually give the finger if I hear any bad words.

 

[NigC]

Thats a point. Only times I've ever been shouted at have been them saying things like:
"gyeeeeeerrrrnipkle"
"havayaaaaaaaagjuk"
"glokooooooooooobajig"

That's uncanny - must be the same people

 

[perplexed]

Had a "hard" man decide to slow-time me as he crossed the road. The inevitable hoodie etc etc. He looked up as he was about to cross the road, and saw me coming, doing about 15-20 mph. A stupid, slow grin, started to cross his face, and he got into the road deliberetly to block my path, and he measured his pace and waited in the road.

I knew there was no traffic behind, so I jinked right to go round him. He mirrored my move, to obstruct me.

I had no doubt that he intended to have me off, so I decided that attack was the best form of defence. I had no idea if he planned to physically assault me for jollies, so I floored it and kept going straight on.

His cocky gait seemed to waver. Then he leapt out of the way.

I think he mistook me for a toff, because he shouted "you hunt!" at me...

I replied at a reasonably high level of decibels over my shoulder, that I had had carnal knowledge of his mother.

At which point he literally started to hop up and down on the spot, screaming at just below dog whistle level, in total impotant fury.

Quite scary at the time, but now I bask in a warm glow...

 

[Riding in Circles]

This morning on the ride in I was in a strong primary as the inside of the lane was as rough as guts, I got to some lights and a car driver asked, "why were you riding in front of me?", I replied "because I got there first, it's a little quirk in the laws of time and space", blank look from the moton, reminded me of Mags video of the Audi driver, I had to wait for a minute as I was laughing.

 

[jonny jeez]

"No, well, I don't pay for sex either"

Special, that is!

 

[J4CKO]

Had a "hard" man decide to slow-time me as he crossed the road. The inevitable hoodie etc etc. He looked up as he was about to cross the road, and saw me coming, doing about 15-20 mph. A stupid, slow grin, started to cross his face, and he got into the road deliberetly to block my path, and he measured his pace and waited in the road.

I knew there was no traffic behind, so I jinked right to go round him. He mirrored my move, to obstruct me.

I had no doubt that he intended to have me off, so I decided that attack was the best form of defence. I had no idea if he planned to physically assault me for jollies, so I floored it and kept going straight on.

His cocky gait seemed to waver. Then he leapt out of the way.

I think he mistook me for a toff, because he shouted "you hunt!" at me...

I replied at a reasonably high level of decibels over my shoulder, that I had had carnal knowledge of his mother.

At which point he literally started to hop up and down on the spot, screaming at just below dog whistle level, in total impotant fury.

Quite scary at the time, but now I bask in a warm glow...

I had a little scrote in full on Chav Regalia with a big gold chain (not typical round here, part of why I stopped) do this near the pub, I just stopped and said "After You Mate" and made a polite and placatory gesture, obviously he wasnt ready for that and instantly he felt a bit of a tit and saw me as the polite and affable cyclist he had just tried to wind up and failed, he just goes "Oh, er, cheers mate", I said "No problem" and started pedaling and finished off with "You look a right **** with that chain round your neck you know", didnt hang round for a reaction.