Confronting a motorist- is it worth it?

[StuartG]

Let's admit it - we do it 'cos we are mad. Mad because we could have been killed but for luck and a bit of skill. The adrenelin is screaming and so are we.

Its therapy for us, it helps get it out of the system. But for thoughtfully persuading the errant driver of the errors of their ways it is almost certainly counterproductive. Making mad drivers madder is mad.

Which is why I try (but sometimes fail) to ride away quietly with perhaps a knowing nod of sorrow which just might strike a chord. IMHO it is almost impossible to approach a driver on the road in a non-confrontational way so its not worth trying however calm you think you may be.

 

[TheJDog]

Wow, some of you are very forgiving. I know I'm too angry when I'm shouting at cars to be making a sensible point, but half the time they don't seem to have any clue that they have done anything wrong, and letting them go completely seems dangerous to me. The more aware they are of cyclists the better, surely?

 

[martint235]

Wow, some of you are very forgiving. I know I'm too angry when I'm shouting at cars to be making a sensible point, but half the time they don't seem to have any clue that they have done anything wrong, and letting them go completely seems dangerous to me. The more aware they are of cyclists the better, surely?

I'd just refer you to the point I made above about what happens next. If it escalates you have to be prepared to escalate your response. LOCO's example is a case in point, 3 builders in a van. That could get quite nasty, quite quickly.

I'm not saying don't do it cos heaven knows I do. Just be prepared. And I'd like to think we're consistent and treat the van full of builders in exactly the same way we treat the skinny little bloke with glasses.

 

[TheJDog]

I'd just refer you to the point I made above about what happens next. If it escalates you have to be prepared to escalate your response. LOCO's example is a case in point, 3 builders in a van. That could get quite nasty, quite quickly.

I'm not saying don't do it cos heaven knows I do. Just be prepared. And I'd like to think we're consistent and treat the van full of builders in exactly the same way we treat the skinny little bloke with glasses.

I've banged on vans, cars, lorrys, buses, all are equal in my eyes.

 

[al78]

Just out of interest, if a driver does something to endanger you but immediately apologizes does this help to calm you down at all?

 

[MrJamie]

At the weekend as a passenger in an MPV, we're approaching a 3 road mini-roundabout, a cyclist is coming towards us from a distance signalling to turn accross us with right of way. The driver was watching and slightly slowing on approach preparing to nip out, but then decided to play safe for the cyclist, stopped plenty of time before the line. Surprisingly he cyclist angrily stares at us, gesticulating and shouting what is presumably abuse but couldnt be heard, as presumably unhappy with the approach speed or something.

The main point was the overreaction, maybe he'd worried he hadnt been seen, maybe he braked a little, but then started shouting at a car with six 30ish year old guys in which is probably a dangerous hobby (as it happens 3 of whom are keen cyclists anyway). All it did was fuel a stereotype about cyclists being "self-righteous".

Obviously i appreciate how vulnerable we are on a bicycle and that occasionally it might be worth trying to let a driver know if they were particularly dangerous, but I dont think we can often convey it well in the heat of the moment and more often than not it just makes cyclists seem the enemy, or worse provokes confrontation.

 

[Nigeyy]

Yeah, usually not.

Chances are you will not be met receptively (no matter how well or politely you put things). Far more likely is a binary based finger salute and some choice Anglo-Saxon invectives directed at you.

Granted there are times when anger can get the better of you -though to be honest, if I'm that angry, I wouldn't want to be talking but more likely kicking a car door! Perhaps a better way to approach this question is "what do you want to get from this?" As I said, sadly more often than not the kind of person who makes a selfish move isn't likely to be receptive, and you'll end up feeling even more frustrated as well as the possibility of physical harm. I'm sure now and then you'll meet someone who is able to take criticism and accept the errors of their ways, but I'm going to guess they are few and far between.

Sometimes you have to just sigh, take a deep breath and move on......

 

[Silver Fox]

Just out of interest, if a driver does something to endanger you but immediately apologizes does this help to calm you down at all?

I think it does.

A verbal apology or hand gesture indicating same can defuse a potentially hostile situation. Problems arise when both parties become so entrenched neither will back down and the red mist takes over.

 

[Boris Bajic]

Just out of interest, if a driver does something to endanger you but immediately apologizes does this help to calm you down at all?

In my experience, absolutely.

As a road user who's misjudged things and inconvenienced others (or put them at some risk) in the past, I've generally found that a waved (and mouthed) apology and acknowledgement of error has got me a smile in return.

Similarly, when 'sinned against' I find myself receptive to some sort of acknowledging communication from the other party.

I've been in both camps, both as a driver and a cyclist and don't really distinguish between the two. There is the issue of forced, unplanned dismounts being a little more hurty on a bicycle, but these are rare.

 

[BentMikey]

GK 54 X WB apologised to me, and that was a huge improvement that I respect him for. OTOH that piece of driving was totally sh1t, so I still uploaded it to YouTube and Roadsafed him.

 

[400bhp]

At the weekend as a passenger in an MPV, we're approaching a 3 road mini-roundabout, a cyclist is coming towards us from a distance signalling to turn accross us with right of way. The driver was watching and slightly slowing on approach preparing to nip out, but then decided to play safe for the cyclist, stopped plenty of time before the line. Surprisingly he cyclist angrily stares at us, gesticulating and shouting what is presumably abuse but couldnt be heard, as presumably unhappy with the approach speed or something.

The main point was the overreaction, maybe he'd worried he hadnt been seen, maybe he braked a little, but then started shouting at a car with six 30ish year old guys in which is probably a dangerous hobby (as it happens 3 of whom are keen cyclists anyway). All it did was fuel a stereotype about cyclists being "self-righteous".

Obviously i appreciate how vulnerable we are on a bicycle and that occasionally it might be worth trying to let a driver know if they were particularly dangerous, but I dont think we can often convey it well in the heat of the moment and more often than not it just makes cyclists seem the enemy, or worse provokes confrontation.

Who is wrong in this situation? The stereotypical cyclist, or the presumption that a single persons action reinforced a stereotype to a group of people.

 

[lejogger]

Just out of interest, if a driver does something to endanger you but immediately apologizes does this help to calm you down at all?

Definitely. A car hit me last year... I got up ready to give him a rather large piece of my mind, but he immediately jumped out the car apologising profusely, admitting 100% fault and making sure I was ok. Any anger I had vanished immediately so I gave the bike a check over, jumped on and carried on to work. It was only once I got in and the shock wore off that I realised how stupid I'd been not to take any of his details.

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

Just out of interest, if a driver does something to endanger you but immediately apologizes does this help to calm you down at all?

I'm not sure... I'll tell you when it happens!

 

[Silver Fox]

I'd just refer you to the point I made above about what happens next. If it escalates you have to be prepared to escalate your response. LOCO's example is a case in point, 3 builders in a van. That could get quite nasty, quite quickly.

I'm not saying don't do it cos heaven knows I do. Just be prepared. And I'd like to think we're consistent and treat the van full of builders in exactly the same way we treat the skinny little bloke with glasses.

Wise words. In a conflict situation appearances can be deceptive, the skinny little bloke with glasses could be considerably more capable than the three builders put together.

 

[Boris Bajic]

Wise words. In a conflict situation appearances can be deceptive, the skinny little bloke with glasses could be considerably more capable than the three builders put together.

You may be right. As it happens, I need a load-bearing internal wall removed, so I can open up a downstairs room.

The three builders who did my loft extension were hopeless.

Do you have contact details for the skinny little bloke with glasses?