Things you'd like to say, but can't

[ColinJ]

I just ordered THESE on Amazon Prime so they should be here tomorrow afternoon.

You watch - I will probably wake up tomorrow to a fly-free house and not need them!

 

[Svendo]

Hmm - that didn't work - they were walking around on the window pane above it and taking no notice of it.

I'll buy something designed to do the job - either a UV/zapper or a glue trap product.

Get an electric tennis racket fly swat thingy, around £7 in the Millenium shop next to the Post Office. Sizzling the little f@&£ers is very satisfying!

 

[ColinJ]

I just ordered THESE on Amazon Prime so they should be here tomorrow afternoon.

You watch - I will probably wake up tomorrow to a fly-free house and not need them!

"Fly paper... Fly paper... Get yer sticky fly paper 'ere. Great deals on unused fly paper! 60 p a roll, or two for a quid!"





Yes - about 5 flies yesterday. Only a couple so far today (by 13:40). I think the flies have a mole at Amazon who warned them what was coming!

 

[Svendo]

"Fly paper... Fly paper... Get yer sticky fly paper 'ere. Great deals on unused fly paper! 60 p a roll, or two for a quid!"





Yes - about 5 flies yesterday. Only a couple so far today (by 13:40). I think the flies have a mole at Amazon who warned them what was coming!

You need the electric swatter I tell you, £5.99 in Aldi, opposite the chocolate 🍫, next to what’s left of the cycling gear. I saw them this morning!

 

[ColinJ]

You need the electric swatter I tell you, £5.99 in Aldi, opposite the chocolate 🍫, next to what’s left of the cycling gear. I saw them this morning!

Funnily enough, I was trying to look at the cycling gear today but I was getting incredibly irritated by the couple blocking that bit of the aisle...

"Let's just stand 'ere luv, tryin' to work out why we're standin' 'ere.."

"Don't forget to leave t' trolley at an angle blockin' t' way fer other shoppers!"

"Thass n' good - 'e can still jus' about ge' through - I'll block it proper..."

"There yer go - BLOCKED!"

Don't mind me - I'll just turn round and go the other way...

I quite like the idea of dispatching nuisance flying beasties with a quick zap. I'll have a look tomorrow. (If that couple aren't still there, blocking my way!)

 

[gbb]

Why on earth are you allowing your circa 13 or 14 year old son to drink Monster energy drink ?

 

[ColinJ]

I quite like the idea of dispatching nuisance flying beasties with a quick zap. I'll have a look tomorrow. (If that couple aren't still there, blocking my way!)

I did buy one of the zappers. There were one or two stubborn flies which refused to take my open kitchen window escape route so I used the zapper on them. When I used it the first time I thought the fly was just resting on the mesh before flying off, but then I saw little sparks shooting across the fly, and... IT STARTED SMOULDERING!

That dispelled any notion that the insect might just be stunned, and would wake up later.

I strongly suggest that you don't let children near one of those devices, and don't touch it yourself when it is operating!

 

[FishFright]

I did buy one of the zappers. There were one or two stubborn flies which refused to take my open kitchen window escape route so I used the zapper on them. When I used it the first time I thought the fly was just resting on the mesh before flying off, but then I saw little sparks shooting across the fly, and... IT STARTED SMOULDERING!

That dispelled any notion that the insect might just be stunned, and would wake up later.

I strongly suggest that you don't let children near one of those devices, and don't touch it yourself when it is operating!

I missed an 'it' out on the last line and was suitably shocked.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

I did buy one of the zappers. There were one or two stubborn flies which refused to take my open kitchen window escape route so I used the zapper on them. When I used it the first time I thought the fly was just resting on the mesh before flying off, but then I saw little sparks shooting across the fly, and... IT STARTED SMOULDERING!

That dispelled any notion that the insect might just be stunned, and would wake up later.

I strongly suggest that you don't let children near one of those devices, and don't touch it yourself when it is operating!

An old bottle, water, and a bit of sugar or jam and you’ll get the suckers

 

[gbb]

Not sure what drove it but inectoutors always used electric grids to zap flys, moths etc.
They use sticky boards behind the uv tubes nowadays,which seems to me a slightly cruel way to die

Flys and moths got rights too y'know

 

[All uphill]

Oh my! You are absolutely beautiful and I could see you were special the moment I laid eyes on you!

I can't get that cute young face of yours out of my head now. Just one thing, why oh why do you have to be so young/I have to be so old? The age gap is quite a bit! 🙄

Are you a TV presenter ?

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Are you a TV presenter ?

No and nor was I about in the '70s' 😆

 

[matticus]

Oh my! You are absolutely beautiful and I could see you were special the moment I laid eyes on you!

I can't get that cute young face of yours out of my head now. Just one thing, why oh why do you have to be so young/I have to be so old? The age gap is quite a bit! 🙄

Are you Rod Liddle?

Spoiler: NSFW

"The one thing stopping me from being a teacher was that I could not remotely conceive of not trying to shag the kids. It seemed to me virtually impossible not to, and I was convinced that I’d be right in there, on day one. "

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Are you Rod Liddle?

Spoiler: NSFW

"The one thing stopping me from being a teacher was that I could not remotely conceive of not trying to shag the kids. It seemed to me virtually impossible not to, and I was convinced that I’d be right in there, on day one. "

Who?

What horrible dirty minds you all have.

 

[Alex321]

Who?

What horrible dirty minds you all have.

Rod Liddle is a rather unpleasant columnist for The Times.