ScotiaLass
Guru
- Location
- Middle Earth
1. When searching for a small zipped bag to carry some spares inside your backpack, do NOT, under any
circumstances, Google anything with the word 'pouch' in it.
2. The use of hand signals is preferable to screaming to your riding partner, 'Dead duck, dead duck!' as you
suddenly swerve across the towpath.
3. Removing cycle undershorts which are rubbing, using the 'bra under t-shirt' method is fine. Doing this
whilst being watched by a barge full of people, is not.
4. Sarcasm IS the lowest form of wit. You are better not saying anything (when non-riding, joe public,
comments about the size of the hill you've just cycled up), especially when you are hanging over the
handlebars, breathing like a steam train.
5. Do not ask your LBS mechanic when you should come back for your next 'tweaking'. Phrase it another
way.
6. When a cute (uniformed) man, gives way to you to allow you to continue up a hill, it's probably best not to
grin like a madman and stand up on the pedals to show him your 'bootay'. This is called bike tarting and
should be refrained from wherever possible.
7. Shouting expletives when reacting to a close pass DOES make you feel better. As that well known
sporting manufacturer says, 'Just Do It'!
8. If in doubt, do not just use any tool that looks like it will fit. It won't, and there will be tears.
9. When passing pedestrians on a towpath and you have no bell, it is best to call out 'Passing on your
right/left'. Not 'ding-ding-ding!'
10.Expressing your happy self in the form of song/interpretive dance whilst cycling, is not recommended.
Whilst you can see that no-one is in front of you, the same cannot be said for your rear!
circumstances, Google anything with the word 'pouch' in it.
2. The use of hand signals is preferable to screaming to your riding partner, 'Dead duck, dead duck!' as you
suddenly swerve across the towpath.
3. Removing cycle undershorts which are rubbing, using the 'bra under t-shirt' method is fine. Doing this
whilst being watched by a barge full of people, is not.
4. Sarcasm IS the lowest form of wit. You are better not saying anything (when non-riding, joe public,
comments about the size of the hill you've just cycled up), especially when you are hanging over the
handlebars, breathing like a steam train.
5. Do not ask your LBS mechanic when you should come back for your next 'tweaking'. Phrase it another
way.
6. When a cute (uniformed) man, gives way to you to allow you to continue up a hill, it's probably best not to
grin like a madman and stand up on the pedals to show him your 'bootay'. This is called bike tarting and
should be refrained from wherever possible.
7. Shouting expletives when reacting to a close pass DOES make you feel better. As that well known
sporting manufacturer says, 'Just Do It'!
8. If in doubt, do not just use any tool that looks like it will fit. It won't, and there will be tears.
9. When passing pedestrians on a towpath and you have no bell, it is best to call out 'Passing on your
right/left'. Not 'ding-ding-ding!'
10.Expressing your happy self in the form of song/interpretive dance whilst cycling, is not recommended.
Whilst you can see that no-one is in front of you, the same cannot be said for your rear!
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I refer to number 6 on the list. Men can be bike tarts too ya know! 
