A Quarter-Life Crisis?

[jhawk]

So, I thought I'd vent a bit on here - get some feelings out, and see what you all make of it.

Anyway, as the title suggests, I feel like I'm having a bit of a quarter-life crisis. Maybe that's being dramatic - but I don't know how else to term it. Currently, as most of you know, I've recently moved to a new place - Sackville, NB. And I absolutely love it here. It's a small University town, with some amazing scenery, architecture, great people and all the good stuff. I'm very happy.

And yet, and yet I find myself feeling lost. Currently, my writing career isn't going all that well - it could be that I'm not putting enough effort into it. I will happily concede that. Sometimes I can't find the motivation to do anything (whether that's scope out new articles, write, pitch or whatever), it could be that - since my move has opened up many new opportunities, I'm simply struggling to focus. I started out writing about current affairs, for a small blog that I operated for two years once I graduated from high school. That has since long gone - as I have decided to focus on my travel pieces. And have enjoyed success in that arena. However, I am finding that the success is hit-and-miss - for example, I recently wrote a piece that'll appear in a Vancouver cycling lifestyle magazine - and I'll be getting paid for it. However, that is my first paid gig in a while. And while I was pitching like crazy for a while, it appears to be very hit-and-miss, as I've said. And perhaps it is the hit-and-miss nature of freelance that has me discouraged and without focus. I'd like to find a more stable writing position - but those are proving difficult to come by.

As mentioned earlier, the move has opened up new doors for me. The University in particular, has got me thinking that maybe it is time for me to attend. If I were to go, I'd probably study Politics and International Relations, or something of the sort. I've talked about that in a previous thread, so there's no point in me banging on about it now. So, that is one option that I have available to me. And, given the Provincial Government of New Brunswick has made a declaration that they're going to make post-secondary education subsidized, starting in the 2016/17 school year - that option is becoming all the more attractive.

As for my bicycle touring plans - due to unforeseen circumstances arising from inheritance that I am due (from the UK), that will likely put any serious travel plans off for the next few months. (These issues are of a legal nature - so I'm not sure how much detail I can go into, and so I won't go into any). And, given that I am very happy in Sackville, escapism from a shitty small town, is no longer a factor. I will still be touring this Summer, but localised only.

In closing, I'll say that while generally I am very happy (I even have a date coming up!), I still feel very lost... Hopefully this'll pass. Maybe something will happen that will point me in the right direction. I certainly hope so, anyway.

Any and all thoughts/suggestions/comments/sharing of your own experiences, are very much welcome.

Thanks all,

*Please note that I understand that comparatively to other people of this age, my problems pail in comparison*

 

[Crackle]

The feeling of feeling lost is, I think, normal at different stages of life (or when on a bike ride with certain cc members). You just have to keep moving, keep doing things, let the place you're in slowly become familiar by involving yourself in it. In the same way, pick a target and go for it. You don't have to reach it, the journey is the important bit and the openings it creates and it's normal to have doubts, every day, every minute even, it's the people who don't you want to be wary of.

 

[ChrisV]

You're going to go to university at 25?

I would put the writing on the back burner, make it a kind of paid hobby, and submerse yourself in a real job. Train for a vocational job with a very definite career path if necessary, but it doesn't sound like 4 years of university is what you need.

Stop floating, start grafting.

 

[ufkacbln]

You're going to go to university at 25?

I would put the writing on the back burner, make it a kind of paid hobby, and submerse yourself in a real job. Train for a vocational job with a very definite career path if necessary, but it doesn't sound like 4 years of university is what you need.

Stop floating, start grafting.

I did my MSc at 35 and started my Doctorate at 50

I also know of several students in their 80s

Age is no barrier to University

 

[vickster]

You're going to go to university at 25?

I would put the writing on the back burner, make it a kind of paid hobby, and submerse yourself in a real job. Train for a vocational job with a very definite career path if necessary, but it doesn't sound like 4 years of university is what you need.

Stop floating, start grafting.

I think he's under 25, 18 or 20 perhaps
Most of us don't live to 100

 

[jhawk]

You're going to go to university at 25?

I would put the writing on the back burner, make it a kind of paid hobby, and submerse yourself in a real job. Train for a vocational job with a very definite career path if necessary, but it doesn't sound like 4 years of university is what you need.

Stop floating, start grafting.

Will be 22 in June. Didn't realise I looked so old...

 

[marinyork]

I think you sound bright enough easily to attend university, whether this is for you I really don't know. In north america things are crudely similar to here in that we have a higher education bubble where extremely large debts are followed by changes in our economy and afterwards you're likely to have a frustrating time of unemployment/internships/low paid work before jumping into something you like. This period may last months or years. As you've said NB is making changes . That makes it an easier decision I think.

On writing, again in the UK I think this is a particularly difficult area to make a living whether I'm talking to people that have done multiple internships (spoken to people that have done up to 4 internships in journalism - if you say this to a generation X or baby boomer their jaw may drop), or listening to Matthew Wright complain about where journalism is going or seeing Guardian writers writing about it. However there is nothing to stop you to continue writing on the side whatever you do, you may well find in future that the writing you've done is very useful to have for some future job/volunteering/whatever. I'm not sure you've done enough of it yet to be able to present it in future as some fantastic skill/experience you've got/done - you will be able to after some more years. Maybe you feel like that already in which case fair enough, big it up.

Your 20s are a very long time, when I look back on them I think although I should have done more wow I did quite a bit of stuff and not so boring a life (some done a lot more) and look around at other people and think I wonder why they didn't do more. If I was to offer advice I'd say definitely do the touring, volunteer more and try even more things and carry on enjoying Sacksville.

You've escaped from somewhere, it may take a few years to fully settle.

Doesn't sound like it here but it's too easy to get into the trap of comparing yourself with other people such as they have their own car, they have their own mortgage, they have their own family, they have appear to have a more fulfilling job, they appear to have a more concrete career path. A lot of the times when people may even say these comments to you they are just having a moan, they don't really mean them. I keep on getting told by a relative when am I going to ditch the 'Saturday job' and 'focus' as time is running out? I wonder whether this is actually insecurity about my cousins who both have on paper 'better' jobs than I do and own their own houses, but my Aunt thinks there's something missing and I can't put my finger on it. Oh yes happiness!

I had a move of jobs and its a lot better but the whole system relies on working for people who sit on green benches and make braying noises say must have funny hats (they don't really have hats) and leather bound diaries. The robots and big companies are coming, the only thing stopping my job going is reluctance to change on the part of the the people who sit on green benches and make animal noises. It is such mindless conclusions you just have to ignore all that and get on with it and enjoy it for the present. What will I being doing afterwards? I don't know.

The only other advice I'd offer to someone in their 20s was on the small chance they suffer from anxiety and get told by everyone else they'll grow out of it or occupy yourself, focus, then my advice would be to ignore all of that advice and actively tackle it. It will be very difficult finding the right way to do this. Doing those other things people say won't cure it and it may mildly ruin your life/hold you back.

P.S. I think there's a lot to be said for trying something for curiosity/think you'll do it better than someone else/there is no reason and it just popped into your head. This business of wanting to do something since birth, if you don't have that I wouldn't worry. Even if you do they are just thoughts/feelings, who is to say they are right?

 

[Dave7]

I think he's under 25, 18 or 20 perhaps
Most of us don't live to 100

I will

 

[vickster]

I have absolutely no desire to myself!

 

[ianrauk]

A quarter life crisis? A crisis in your early 20's? Lumme... the only crisis I had when I was in my early 20's was where the next, drink, sex, drugs and rock n roll were coming from.

 

[jhawk]

A quarter life crisis? A crisis in your early 20's? Lumme... the only crisis I had when I was in my early 20's was where the next, drink, sex, drugs and rock n roll were coming from.

Again, crisis is perhaps not the best term for it.

 

[surfdude]

well at least your be prepared for your mid life crisis when it comes along and is a real crisis that is 100 times worse than what your feeling now . enjoy the next 25 years dude . he he

 

[jonny jeez]

So, I thought I'd vent a bit on here - get some feelings out, and see what you all make of it.

Anyway, as the title suggests, I feel like I'm having a bit of a quarter-life crisis. Maybe that's being dramatic - but I don't know how else to term it. Currently, as most of you know, I've recently moved to a new place - Sackville, NB. And I absolutely love it here. It's a small University town, with some amazing scenery, architecture, great people and all the good stuff. I'm very happy.

And yet, and yet I find myself feeling lost. Currently, my writing career isn't going all that well - it could be that I'm not putting enough effort into it. I will happily concede that. Sometimes I can't find the motivation to do anything (whether that's scope out new articles, write, pitch or whatever), it could be that - since my move has opened up many new opportunities, I'm simply struggling to focus. I started out writing about current affairs, for a small blog that I operated for two years once I graduated from high school. That has since long gone - as I have decided to focus on my travel pieces. And have enjoyed success in that arena. However, I am finding that the success is hit-and-miss - for example, I recently wrote a piece that'll appear in a Vancouver cycling lifestyle magazine - and I'll be getting paid for it. However, that is my first paid gig in a while. And while I was pitching like crazy for a while, it appears to be very hit-and-miss, as I've said. And perhaps it is the hit-and-miss nature of freelance that has me discouraged and without focus. I'd like to find a more stable writing position - but those are proving difficult to come by.

As mentioned earlier, the move has opened up new doors for me. The University in particular, has got me thinking that maybe it is time for me to attend. If I were to go, I'd probably study Politics and International Relations, or something of the sort. I've talked about that in a previous thread, so there's no point in me banging on about it now. So, that is one option that I have available to me. And, given the Provincial Government of New Brunswick has made a declaration that they're going to make post-secondary education subsidized, starting in the 2016/17 school year - that option is becoming all the more attractive.

As for my bicycle touring plans - due to unforeseen circumstances arising from inheritance that I am due (from the UK), that will likely put any serious travel plans off for the next few months. (These issues are of a legal nature - so I'm not sure how much detail I can go into, and so I won't go into any). And, given that I am very happy in Sackville, escapism from a shitty small town, is no longer a factor. I will still be touring this Summer, but localised only.

In closing, I'll say that while generally I am very happy (I even have a date coming up!), I still feel very lost... Hopefully this'll pass. Maybe something will happen that will point me in the right direction. I certainly hope so, anyway.

Any and all thoughts/suggestions/comments/sharing of your own experiences, are very much welcome.

Thanks all,

*Please note that I understand that comparatively to other people of this age, my problems pail in comparison*

I don't know the full details of your move but it's possible that you are simply a little homesick, or out of place. Coupled with that, You say you feel a little lost but it sounds more to me that you just need direction. So not so much lost, more lost direction. Perhaps higher education is the right move, perhaps hard graft is.

Whichever option you choose,me sure you know why you are doing it, what is the long term outcome that you want.

On the writing front, Is it possible to combine all of this experience/concern/thought...into your writing, telling folk about what Made you decide to move on, to write, to travel and the challenges that you have overcome in each area.

I'd imagine there are a good number of people in similar positions who would enjoy finding out how someone, just like them coped with it all.

 

[screenman]

A line somebody once gave me was, do not wait for your boat to come in, swim out and catch it.

I can offer no advice as at your age I had been married 4 years had a 4 year old son and another on the way so every day was a crisis.

 

[Levo-Lon]

I went completely off the rails at 22..big time..wish i could remember some of it..
at least your giving things a thought..so keep on thinking what you would like to do..
Ideally you should have got your self sorted by 28 and all this young man wtf am i doing should have passed..