A remedy for horrendous nightmares please

[Speicher]

Thank you everyone for their advice. I think the reason the nightmares have come back again might be for several reasons.

I have been eating more cheese than usual
and drinking slightly more alcohol than usual
the bedroom gets cold about 2am, or if I leave the heating on for these colder nights, the bedroom gets too warm
I have got a cold and therefore a slight temperature.
This past month or so has been more hectic than I would like I am hopeful that now things will start to improve, and I will follow people's advice.

I think it is a combination of all these factors that is causing the problems.
One of my neighbours is a (certified?) aromatherapist, I think I will ask her advice. I do not like the smell of lavendar, unfortunately, but I am sure she could suggest something else.

I am due to see my doctor again soon, and will tell her of the current problems if it continues.

Two nights ago, when I had one of the most confusing and frightening of nightmares was after a visit by my niece. She is not that frightening, but she does say the most stupidest, thickest, arragant things. You might remember that approx six weeks ago, four young retained firefighters were killed when they attended a factory fire. That was near here. Niece's father is Town Mayor for that town. When we wished ourselves a Happy New Year, niece mentionned the tragic fire accident. She said it had been "puzzling" but at least her father had been able to "improve his media skills" because he had done a lot of radio and TV interviews in his official capacity. I nearly exploded with anger and frustration at her comments. Part of me wanted to say that she might like to explain to the widows, children and parents of the victims that she took such an attitude, and also explain that to the colleagues of the victims who are traumatised by the incident, and no doubt will be for a long time to come. My "mistake" may have been that I was so angry that I did not trust myself to say anything at all, and she left shortly after that anyway.

The nightmare I had that night was that I was in some sort of martial art combat with an expert who was faster, had more stamina, was stronger than me, and taller etc etc etc, so I had no defence whatsoever. And the fight seemed to go on for a very long time. I woke up very very confused, and my brain did not seem to want to function. Eventually, my brain computed the fact that it was just a dream, but it took some time. So that nightmare was caused by something "playing on my mind".

 

[Speicher]

Speich' - w.out being disrespectfull - what are you fearing, what is their to fear what can happen...

NOTHING...

Keep it simple Speich.

So its you, in the bed (dont know your sleeping arrangements) etc...get comfortable,...

Think nice thoughts - I often think of a nice day, cycling maybe 'floating' on a great day

Think of it as your time to rest and you shouldnt be affected to these happenings !

At first, Yenrod, I thought "during the nightmares it is impossible to tell myself not to fear them". Then I thought perhaps you meant not to be afraid of the nightmares before they happen, which is a very valid point.
And also not be frightened when I wake up all confused afterwards.
Thank you for making that very important point. It may help to put it all in perspective.

 

[col]

The thing is,when your dreaming,you dont know it at the time,and when you wake up,it takes a few minutes ,sometimes,to realise it was a dream,but it doesnt stop the feelings that you wake up with.So the main thing to address i think,is the overactive mind,you somehow need to settle and relax for sleep.easier said than done if your in a cycle or habit of them.whatever is praying on your mind needs to be sorted out,and finished with ,so its not on your mind.Someone mentioned writing things down ,this could help prioritise whats bothering you,and maybe bring it to a conclusion,so you can stop letting it prey on your mind?

 

[yenrod]

Not just to myself but to everyone I know or have ever met and don't even mention those poor buggers who have the misfortune to be related to me!!

-

 

[yenrod]

Well, Speich, all the r(b)est

 

[Speicher]

Thank you
to Col, I sometimes write things down, and perhaps I should try it more often. The Counsellor I was seeing, had said that if any problems occurred then we could discuss them further if I felt it would be helpful.

Thank you also to Yenrod.
When I replied to DT's comment I was trying to say "There is no way that Yenrod could possibly be as rude to me, as he (DT) was. I like the fact that you replied so accurately to his comment. As he reads this thread, I am being very brief in what I say.

However, I do not understand how people could describe you as incomprehensible.

 

[Speicher]

Well, Speich, all the r(b)est

sorry Yenrod, has your keyboard gone wonky?

 

[yenrod]

>sorry Yenrod, has your keyboard gone wonky

- Well, Speich, all the r/best: rest or best...

 

[Speicher]

Last night, I did not have alcohol or cheese, I turned down the thermostat, but left the heating on all night so as not to be too hot or cold. I still had a nightmare, and when I woke up, Yenrod was there
But I think that was part of the dream as well.

 

[yenrod]

Well my dream consisted of frustrations in relation to a cycle...

 

[Dayvo]

It might be time to redecorate the bedroom and introduce softer (pastel) colours to the walls/curtains. And a bit of DIY Feng Shui might help.
Hopefully whatever is affecting your subconscious mind will lessen.
We're rooting for you, Speich!

 

[Speicher]

It might be time to redecorate the bedroom and introduce softer (pastel) colours to the walls/curtains. And a bit of DIY Feng Shui might help.
Hopefully whatever is affecting your subconscious mind will lessen.
We're rooting for you, Speich!

I think a week on a very warm, quiet sunny beach somewhere, would also do the trick.

 

[Chuffy]

Hmmm. I'd guess the long term solution lies in counselling or nearest equivalent. However, there are a few things that might help.

1) Essential oils, especially lavender. Dab a little on each temple before bedtime. Very good at aiding sleep.
2) Try yoga before bedtime, especially breathing exercises to get yourself in a calm state of mind before sleeping.
3) You might be able to get a relaxation tape and accompanying exercise from the local health food shop. Listen to the tape in bed and follow the exercise.

Good luck.

 

[domtyler]

The bit where you are in a fight but your own body is totally unresponsive, like you are punching through treacle is a very typical nightmare scenario. I used to get this a lot at one point and was told that it was because there were things in my life that I did not have under control. Which was true.

Could you possibly be not completely in control of your life at the moment Speicha'?

 

[Speicher]

The bit where you are in a fight but your own body is totally unresponsive, like you are punching through treacle is a very typical nightmare scenario. I used to get this a lot at one point and was told that it was because there were things in my life that I did not have under control. Which was true.

Could you possibly be not completely in control of your life at the moment Speicha'?

Is anyone in complete control of their life? I am reasonably in control of my lifestyle at the moment - the important "things" at least. But unfortunately I have some close family members ("close" as in closely related, not "close" in that I like them) who strongly object to me doing things in the way I wish to. I try not to let this lead into conflict with them, but I am beginning to think that, having tried to be conciliatory and understanding, and patient, the time has come to "tell it straight". To tell them that by now, they should know that I will do things the way I want to, and they must credit me with the intelligence to do so. I have been too polite in the past and they have not been able to accept that I hold my own opinions, without reference to their "approval".

One particular person has tried my patience over the last ten years to the absolute limit. The dream about the fight made me think that I have no defence against this person and that I should fall back on the "defence" of completely ignoring them, their opinions and their preferences, just like they have done with mine. Lots of people have spoken on this forum recently about stress, depression, anxiety etc. Perhaps we are in danger of trying too hard to be what other people want us to be. I would add that friends, acquantances, and colleagues etc, may find it very easy to accept others opinions. Perhaps I am unlucky in having some family members who are Post Graduate Control Freaks, and they are still determined to prove that beyond any element of doubt, and furthermore they wish to continue their studies.