A scary encounter.

[vernon]

I'm a regular customer at a newsagent in Bradford. It's at the edge of a problem estate and some poor quality housing stock. Quite often they get 'strange' customers - some of them drunk from the pub next door, some trying to get cigarettes on credit, some of them with mild mental health problems. They are all treated with patient respect by the newsagents AND I admire their skill at managing the situations.

Tonight was very different. A woman in her late sixties/early seventies barged in and asked for a load of bread in a very slurred voice then asked lots of other random questions about wanting to buy goods that the newsagents didn't stock and wanting to wait an hour until the other shops opened. She didn't seem to be on this planet and I assumed that she was very drunk and I turned away from the exchange with the newsagent and sniggered at the comedic exchanges. The newsagent was very patient in trying to convince the woman that it was the evening, that the womans son would cope without the bread and she's be better off going home before it got dark and wait until tomorrow before going shopping for food.

After she left, the newsagent disabused me of the notion that the woman was drunk. She had Alzheimer's. Her son died fifteen years ago and she was often found wandering the streets in the early hours of the morning looking for open shops to buy food for her son. She has a daughter who pays a brief visit once or twice a year and there's no support forthcoming from social services, the NHS or any other agency because the woman is 'coping' and not posing a problem to her neighbours or the community in which she lives. It wiped the smirk off my face and I felt hollow and drained at the thought that the woman has been effectively abandoned to her own devices with a 'not our problem' attitude from all who I'd consider to have an interest in her welfare.

What is the world coming to? Is this what we can expect in our twilight years?

 

[Night Train]

I am trained and qualified to work with the elderly and, when I worked in housing management, I came across this sort of thing quite often.

It was always sad to see and though I had a lot of patience and worked with the person to enable them to have some normality in life I saw many who just took advantage or were paid for services that they then didn't deliver because the 'client' wouldn't know any different.

Apparently excercise and activity makes a big difference to the onset of Alzheimer's. Being active, mentally and physically, is much better then sitting in front of day time tv.

 

[Arch]

Apparently excercise and activity makes a big difference to the onset of Alzheimer's. Being active, mentally and physically, is much better then sitting in front of day time tv.

There's been a story on the Beeb today about a place that has some gym exercise machines set up for Alzheimer's patients, there are no great weights involved, just enough resistance to make it felt, and regular use is working wonders at keeping people calm and focussed, reducing the amount of drugs they have to be given.

It's a sad feature of modern life that many older people end up isolated from their families - in the past, people didn't move about so much, and many families had more children, so there was more likely to be someone close by to become carer.

I suppose the saving grace in this case is that the lady may be relatively 'happy' in her delusions - I've heard people say that the worst part of having Alzheimers is the bit where you know you are getting confused, once someone is very confused, they settle more, but it's much worse for others around them who can see the difference. And full marks to the newsagent for doing his best. Sadly, of course, eventually she will become a danger to herself, and she'll end up in a care home, let's hope it's a nice one.

 

[summerdays]

My Gran had Alzheimer's and would frequently try to go to church every day and buy bread every day despite living on her own. Eventually she went to live with my aunt for a couple of years, and whilst there she tried to make tea with the sheep dip (which was hidden), and reported her grandson as kidnapped by the IRA. Luckily he was there to explain that he was actually 10 years older and perfectly fine to save them a wild goose chase. After that she was moved to a secure unit (from which she managed to "escape" twice through a double set of locked doors ... so that she could go shopping. Watching my Gran "disappear" over those years was sad ... but must have been so much harder for my mum. Now I find myself watching her to see if she starts to show any signs

The newsagent sounds like a nice chap, not taking advantage of the situation.

 

[summerdays]

I suppose the saving grace in this case is that the lady may be relatively 'happy' in her delusions -

Whilst my Gran was in the secure part of the hospital, she believed that all the other residents were visitors staying in her house and used to make their beds and tidy their rooms for them, and seemed to be happy that lots of people wanted to stay with her. She also seemed to acquire a lot of the other patients possessions but the staff were very good at reuniting it with the original owners.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

I seem to remember visiting my Gran when she was in her '90s, and being quite happy with being in her own little universe. Unfortunately, she couldn't remember who my Dad (although oddly she knew the rest of us) was and got all upset when on asking how old she was, we told her that she was 92. She obviously thought she was a LOT younger.

And then there was the night when my aunt phoned us up to tell us that she was on the Caledonian Railways Sleeper to Perth. Hmmm, really?

Frightening - if there is anything I can do to avoid it, I'll do it!

 

[longers]

Is this what we can expect in our twilight years?

I'm guessing if we're unlucky then yes. Unlucky enough to be unwell and not have friends or family to help out.

There's a lady who's unwell in the same geriatric ward as my gran and I was shocked by her lack of compassion for her, but it wasn't me that's being kept up all night.

 

[quassleberry]

This is all too familiar a sight where I work and it's frightening at times to see how fast our customers deteriorate.
Sometimes we know there is a family member helping them but all too often they are left to 'fend for themselves' and not only could they become a danger to themselves but they are vulnerable to attack or 'befriending' by the scuzzbuckets that inhabit all walks of life.

 

[Arch]

Whilst my Gran was in the secure part of the hospital, she believed that all the other residents were visitors staying in her house and used to make their beds and tidy their rooms for them, and seemed to be happy that lots of people wanted to stay with her. She also seemed to acquire a lot of the other patients possessions but the staff were very good at reuniting it with the original owners.

Another interesting thing I heard a while back, was the idea that it was often better not to challenge people when they got a wrong idea. A lady said she took her Mum to the doctors for a routine visit, and sitting in the waiting room, the lady got the idea that they were at an airport going on holiday. Instead of correcting her, the daughter 'played along', and it kept things relaxed. When it was the lady's turn to go into the doctor, she was ok with that because she was able to recognise the situation. In a similar way, the experts said it's often better, if a person asks where so and so is, and so and so is dead, not to remind the sufferer of it, but to tell a white lie, about them being away or something. Otherwise the sufferer has to go through grief everytime they forget and are reminded. Makes sense to me, in the same way as you strike a balance between humouring a child's imagination and correcting them.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

This is all too familiar a sight where I work and it's frightening at times to see how fast our customers deteriorate.
Sometimes we know there is a family member helping them but all too often they are left to 'fend for themselves' and not only could they become a danger to themselves but they are vulnerable to attack or 'befriending' by the scuzzbuckets that inhabit all walks of life.

My Aunt was utterly convinced that the staff of her nursing home were stealing from her. I was young at the time so don't know the details, but but I get the impression that she was just imagining things.

 

[vernon]

Whilst my Gran was in the secure part of the hospital, she believed that all the other residents were visitors staying in her house and used to make their beds and tidy their rooms for them, and seemed to be happy that lots of people wanted to stay with her. She also seemed to acquire a lot of the other patients possessions but the staff were very good at reuniting it with the original owners.

My mother in law moved in with her older daughter having contributed to the purchase of a larger house to accommodate her in a granny flat. When the Alzheimer's took hold she flogged all of the painting in the house to a local dealer who had to be persuaded to return them. Before Alzheimer's she used to struggle to walk two hundred yards. During Alzheimer's she used to get picked up by the police six or miles away from home and she would always supply her maiden name and her home address as a Bristol one where she was raised and not Littlehampton where she resided with her daughter. She finally became a danger to herself and others when she used to switch on the gas cooker and forget to light it or let things boil dry and burn. On her last visit to us in Leeds, she was convinced that I was a handyman/taxi driver and she spoke highly of my courtesy and care when I took her back to Littlehampton.

At least she was happy and content unlike the agitated soul that I saw this evening.

 

[asterix]

Not everyone gets Alzheimers in old age Not every case of dementia is Alzheimers.

However, if a good diet and lifestyle are ways of avoiding it then it looks like the UK is going the wrong way.

The other problem is that of GPs who see an elderly person with symptoms akin to those of Alzheimers and dismiss the possibility of it being anything else. My late father visited numerous GPs because he was dissatisfied with their opinion on his problem. When he was taken to hospital after a fall the at last discovered he had a brain tumour and it was at an advanced stage. His final days were not happy ones.

My trust in GPs is very low indeed, as I believe they are increasingly products of the system in which they operate due to political pressures. Another relative is now in the grip of the system having fallen in her home. It would seem the social services and hospital are hell-bent on getting her back in her flat and out of a hospital bed although she is manifestly incapable of looking after herself (she has leukaemia among other problems). Our attempts to get information from her doctor are met with vagueness and half-truths. Fortunately the nursing staff are looking after her with competence and kindness.

 

[Gromit]

My Uncle died two weeks ago of pneumonia, supposedly after a short span of dementia. It all happened very quickly.

We went to see him and my Auntie last September and he was a sprightly 84 year old.

Just near to Christmas my Auntie had a dizzy spell and could not get up off the toilet, so shouted him to help her up. He got her up but fell backwards in the process ending up braking his hip. He got taken to Wigan hospital were the nurses insisted he had dementia and started giving him medication for it. Apparently he was being violent to them.

This is the same hospital years ago who gave my granddad something that sent him back to his war days. He was fine when he got out of hospital.

Anyway from Christmas to March my Uncle to deteriorate. I doubt it was dementia, having seen somewhere that broken bone if not treated properly can somehow get into the bloodstream and travel to the brain. It would explain why it happened so fast.

 

[XmisterIS]

I reckon the secret to remaining healthy and fit into old age is treating yourself right when you're younger!

There's a guy who goes to my local gym; he's retired and so he comes in every day for between 30 mins and an hour, plus he cycles there and back each time. He's 76 years old and he is fitter, stronger and in better shape than most of the bloated 20-something pissheads that I see staggering out of the pub on a Saturday night. He doesn't drink or smoke, he eats very healthy and he is a happy man and great to chat to. Also, there was an article published in Climb magazine (for rock climbers) which said that sedentary adults loose up to 10% of there bone and muscle density per decade that they sit like blobs in front of the TV and do nothing but eat crap and drive everywhere. They tested some senior climbers in their 70's who'd been climbing regularly for their whole lives and those guys had the same muscle and bone density as 25 year olds.

So the moral is ... get on yer bike!! And do some exercise that uses all your joints and bones too.

That's how I plan to avoid getting old and decrepid and illness-riddled like some members of my family. My uncle died at 65 of an aneurysm while at the wheel of his car - he was a heavy drinker all his life and smoked 40 cigs a day; he started when he was 16 on filterless woodbines as a cadet in WWII. I'm not going out like that!

 

[tyred]

It is worrying and painful to watch. My uncle, a very fit, active and sprightly 71 year old has recently been diagnosed. I was visiting him a while back and ended up having to finish putting a new clutch in my aunt's Fiesta as he genuinely couldn't remember how to put it back together. He is a timed served mechanic and one of those people who could repair absolutely anything and I found it very painful to see that he couldn't complete what was a relatively simple re-assembly job.