Aaargh!! Twenty Inch now Forty Inch!!

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Dismay and consternation in Twenty Inch Towers yesterday as I stared at the tape measure. Had someone cut 6 inches off the end? Had I used the wrong end? No and No. My waistline is now really 40 inches, and my weight 97kg – 15st3lbs in old money.

My waist is keeping pace with my age, and I’ve put on 2kg a year since 2000, the year of my athletic highpoint, the Isle of Arran Half-Ironman Triathlon.

Since yesterday afternoon, I now own a bathroom scales, a tape measure, and a copy of the GI Diet book.

According to that book, I should lose 1lb a week by following its principles. So far so good! In six months, I should weigh 85kg. This remains to be seen, but I need to try.

Wish me luck!
 

domtyler

Über Member
Do yourself a favour mate, get one of these:

http://www.greatjohn.com/grjoreto.html
 

Blue

Legendary Member
Location
N Ireland
Just try to reduce food intake a little and increase exercise output a little. You may find the lard will shift. I think it's called the calorie equation or some such thing :biggrin:
 
OP
OP
T
Location
Behind a desk
Blue said:
Just try to reduce food intake a little and increase exercise output a little. You may find the lard will shift. I think it's called the calorie equation or some such thing :biggrin:

Do you think? I think I have an addiction problem and I'm going to blame it on society.
 
OP
OP
T
Location
Behind a desk
Aaargh! It's not working! I've been on this diet ALL DAY and I'm FIVE POUNDS HEAVIER than when I started.

*feels depressed, eats donut and cheddar cheese sandwich, feels suicidal*
 
Did you get the relaxation tape that's supposed to come with it?
 

domtyler

Über Member
Tell me you're not thinking of the Great John! Forget getting fit, who wants to be slim when you can relax on your new Great John with a four pack of beers and a family sized bucket of fried chicken plus extra fries and a large strawberry milkshake!
 

Blue

Legendary Member
Location
N Ireland
How come we are talking about fat blokes on a toilet the day before the anniversary of the birth of the most famous fat guy to die on the bog?

I'll have a deep fried peanut butter sandwich with that, thanks. :wacko:
 

Blue

Legendary Member
Location
N Ireland
Twenty Inch said:
Aaargh! It's not working! I've been on this diet ALL DAY and I'm FIVE POUNDS HEAVIER than when I started.

PUT DOWN THE KNIFE AND FORK AND STAND AWAY FROM THE TABLE :wacko:
 
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