American tourist stopping you

[Moodyman]

Ren-aye-sence Centre

No exuse for that as it's pronounced 'Renne-since' over here too.

 

[Aperitif]

Is that "Lady, you gotta practice" or summat? Or some kind of offer to sort out her hypocaust?

Hypocaust job. 'Sort out yer plumbing after - forget London'

 

[ianrauk]

Try asking a New Yorker for Houston Street in Manhattan, A Bostonian how to get to Haverhill, or a Ontarian for Peterborough...

 

[Moodyman]

We haven't touched upon Llandudno and other Welsh places.

Although....do any tourists visit Wales?

 

[Fnaar]

I can properly pronounce llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

 

[Chrisz]

Since we're on the topic;-

THE FOLLOWING IS A TELEPHONE EXCHANGE BETWEEN A HOTEL GUEST AND ROOM SERVICE IN CHINA ......


ROOM SERVICE : "MORRIN. ROON SIRBEES."

GUEST : "SORRY, I THOUGHT I DIALED ROOM-SERVICE."

ROOM SERVICE: " RYE . ROON SIRBEES...MORRIN! JOOWISH TO ODDOR SUNTEEN???"

GUEST: "UH..... YES, I'D LIKE TO ORDER BACON AND EGGS."

ROOM SERVICE: "OW ULAI DEN?"

GUEST: ".....WHAT??"

ROOM SERVICE: "OW ULAI DEN!?... PRYED, BOYUD, POCHD?"

GUEST: "OH, THE EGGS! HOW DO I LIKE THEM? SORRY.... SCRAMBLED, PLEASE."

ROOM SERVICE: "OW ULAI DEE BAYKEN ? CREEPSE?"

GUEST: "CRISP WILL BE FINE."

ROOM SERVICE: "HOKAY. AN SAHN TOES?"

GUEST: "WHAT?"

ROOM SERVICE: "AN TOES. ULAI SAHN TOES?"

GUEST: "I.... DON'T THINK SO.."

ROOM SERVICE: "NO? UDO WAN SAHN TOES???"

GUEST: "I FEEL REALLY BAD ABOUT THIS, BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT 'UDO WAN SAHN TOES' MEANS."

ROOM SERVICE: "TOES! TOES!...WHY UOO DON WAN TOES? OW BOW INGRISH MOPPIN WI BOTTER?"

GUEST: "OH, ENGLISH MUFFIN! !! I'VE GOT IT! YOU WERE SAYING 'TOAST'... FINE...YES, AN ENGLISH MUFFIN WILL BE FINE."

ROOM SERVICE: "WI BOTTER?"

GUEST: "NO, JUST PUT THE BOTTER ON THE SIDE."

ROOM SERVICE: "WAD?!?"

GUEST: "I MEAN 'BUTTER'... JUST PUT THE BUTTER ON THE SIDE."

ROOM SERVICE: "COPY?"

GUEST: "EXCUSE ME?"

ROOM SERVICE: "COPY...TEA..MEEL?"

GUEST: "YES. COFFEE, PLEASE... AND THAT'S EVERYTHING."

ROOM SERVICE: "ONE MINNIE. SCRAMAH EGG, CREEPSE BAYKEN , INGRISH MOPPIN, WI BOTTER ON SIGH AND COPY ... RYE ??"

GUEST: "WHATEVER YOU SAY."

ROOM SERVICE: "TANJOOBERRYMUTTS."

GUEST: "YOU'RE WELCOME"

 

[Rhythm Thief]

I also like the (poosibly apocryphal) story of the Aussie asking at King's Cross station for a "ticket to Loogabaroogah please, mate". It only became apparent when he was asked to spell it out that he meant "Loughborough".

 

[Coco]

He rang a customer and asked for Mrs Butch -a-non (Buchanon). The lady put the phone down on him after saying he must have the wrong number.
.

My wife's name is Buchan - what a hoot it is to answer the phone when telemarketing companies call her

 

[Globalti]

When I got my first holiday driving job at John Nixon Plant Hire in Water Street, Newcastle upon Tyne, I was given a huge Hydrovane compressor to deliver to one of the Metro sites. I thought I had got Geordie nailed until one of the regular drivers came up to me and said:

"How meate, ya dun nee tooin?"

"Er... I'm sorry?"

"Ya dun nee tooin?"

"Er..... sorry, say again?"

"Ya dun nee tooin?"

"Look, I'm sorry, what do you mean?"

"Ah man fer fook's sake, TOOIN! Tooin' a fookin' treealah!"

 

[Rhythm Thief]

Or the tale of the AA man in the 1960s being asked on tehphone for directions to "Fort Neath" by a cockney chap. It was only after a series of increasingly bad tempered exchanges that it became clear that he wanted directions to Thornton Heath.

 

[User169]

Near me, there's a beach resort called "Scheveningen". It's very difficult to get say correctly unless you're native Dutch. During the war, suspected German spies were allegedly asked to say it and, if they got it wrong, summarily despatched.

 

[Globalti]

I've been there and I can say it.

There's a place in Lagos called Agidingbi. Try that!

 

[ufkacbln]

We had a local village at home called Houghton

It was pronounced Howton by most, Hoeton by thse who were moving in from the cuties and Huffton by the local americans.

Whichever the person used we would immediately use the others.


Same when Casualty became Accident and Emergency. Whatever they asked for you used the opposite

 

[TVC]

About 15 years ago I worked as an Applications Engineer for a measurement systems company. We had a Quality guy over from GM Detroit to commission a gauging assembly I had designed. We were all tickled to find that he had a liking for Bakewell tarts, and so on a Wednesday evening in November he had driven from his hotel in Leicester to Bakewell to buy a fresh tart. He was most perplexed that Bakewell was shut.

 

[Greedo]

I was walking from the SECC towards the city centre, along the river, in Autumn 2008. About 6pm-ish. Bear in mind, the last time I was in Glasgow was 1995. An old american couple came up to me and asked (yes, they were wearing St. Andrews Golf Club tops):

"Do you know where Glasgow University is? We heard it's got great architiecture."

I pointed vaguely North West and said:

"Keep walking."

"Thank you" they said. And off they went.

I wonder what they thought of Clydebank when they got there 10 miles later