An open letter to all condescending male chauvinist cyclists

[hopless500]

[QUOTE 4757214, member: 76"]But how has Pat come across to some of us on here? As a patronising woman who thinks it is ok to dump all men in a basket labelled arrogant nobber.

I don't hear many calls for her to have thought through her little better.[/QUOTE]
Those who have taken it that way appear to be lacking basic comprehension skills.

 

[Jody]

I remember my 3 year old son coming home from nursery and stating "girls are good, boys are naughty". I could have wept - not good for either gender.

My 3 year old said exactly the same last week when I picked him up from nursery. No idea where it came from but it made me sad as he is such a well behaved and loving little lad. Shame it gets drilled into them from such a young age.

 

[jonny jeez]

Tbh, I'm beginning to change my mind after reading all the answers on this thread.
Could it be that man gets it a lot from man too?

.

I think so. This has been and is my point. I don't deny that sexism exists, I don't deny that these men were patronising but I genuinely think that, in this instance they are not entwined. These men are just idiots (and possibly sexist, bigoted narrow minded) but would say the same to me as they would to you. They cant help themselves, its part of their coping mechanism and is probably all about their self esteem. they are the type of person who cannot help but read you their riding CV when you stop for a coffee, listing all their achievements...when all you wanted to know was "is this seat taken?"

I shall join you in snapping at the next idiot who feels they have some right to impart unsolicited advice...I have worked out my response (I'm awful at coming up with quick comebacks in the moment) I'm gonna go with "I already have a Mum, I don't need another thanks."

J

 

[Spinney]

My 3 year old said exactly the same last week when I picked him up from nursery. No idea where it came from but it made me sad as he is such a well behaved and loving little lad. Shame it gets drilled into them from such a young age.

Complain? Blatant sex/gender discrimination - if they'd said something like 'white children are good, brown children are naughty' they'd be up in court...

 

[srw]

Could it be that man gets it a lot from man too?

Honestly, from my experience, no.

In my 20 years of commuting and fewer years of group and solo leisure riding I've had only one bit of unsolicited advice I can remember. Someone told me in a thick German accent that my saddle was too high and it was "bad for your balls".

 

[Jody]

Complain? Blatant sex/gender discrimination - if they'd said something like 'white children are good, brown children are naughty' they'd be up in court...

Completely agree but its difficult as he won't say where he heard it. It could have been one of the other children that has been told that by their parents. Iv'e heard it said to kids before.

 

[benb]

So to summarise:
See someone with a puncture, stop and say "Have you got all the tools you need? Do you need a hand?" or (as I have done, to both men and women) "I just wanted to let you know your back light has run out of batteries" are both absolutely fine.

Say to someone "You're doing it wrong, your saddle is too low and your cadence is too slow, try this..." and then a load of patronising drivel is not fine, and nor is sanctimonious rubbish about cycling no-handed.

Everyone got that?

 

[Dogtrousers]

Everyone got that?

I admire your optimism

 

[The Brewer]

Probably guilty of a few of them, sorry

 

[jonny jeez]

Sorry chaps, it's still sexism. Sexist behaviour arises from a sense of power and entitlement. Men in general feel powerful and entitled. If women in general felt equally as powerful and entitled, they would behave in this way just as much but, as we have been hearing, they do not. Sorry not to be able to join in making you feel all that much better about this, and all.

Shame about the last bit of this post, which is totally unessacery and adds nothing but conflict...still. I agree, these idiots are most likely sexist, I did say as much. However I suspect they would make these comment to any Gender...its part of their makeup.

As for the reversal, I"ve provided anecdotal evidence that women do the same to men. As I have I said before the only rider that has ever physically contacted me and tried to push me or instruct me to ride into a daft position, was a woman.

I posted as such on here when it happened, I shall. Search my posts to find a link.

 

[Markymark]

Quick straw poll.

1. How many women have been subject to patronising critique from men of their cycle craft whilst out minding their own business?

2. How many men have been subjected to similar from women?

I think the underlying problem may be highlighted from the ratio of the above.

Shame about the last bit of this post, which is totally unessacery and adds nothing but conflict...still. I agree, these idiots are most likely sexist, I did say as much. However I suspect they would make these comment to any Gender...its part of their makeup.

As for the reversal, I"ve provided anecdotal evidence that women do the same to men. As I have I said before the only rider that has ever physically contacted me and tried to push me or instruct me to ride into a daft position, was a woman.

I posted as such on here when it happened, I shall. Search my posts to find a link.

To quote myself...I don't expect the ratio to be ALL:NONE, but more likely MOST:FEW. The latter still demonstrates the underlying problem.

 

[Inertia]

Shame about the last bit of this post, which is totally unessacery and adds nothing but conflict...still. I agree, these idiots are most likely sexist, I did say as much. However I suspect they would make these comment to any Gender...its part of their makeup.

Thats where I would disagree with you, I think a subset of that group would behave the same to anyone but most wouldnt.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Not sure what the problem was. I'm always grateful for offers of help if I've got some bike problem, even if I don't need any help. I also have no problem with encouragement either. Last weekend up a really tough hill I was passed by a couple of young guys who said "good effort" as they passed me. To me that was just their appreciation of the effort of an older and heavier cyclist than themselves. I would say something similar if I passed someone gurning up a hill too

I will always offer help (in a non-gender specific way ) to any cyclist who I think may be in need, be it mechanicals, navigation or whatever. But I've never given "advice" to anyone except maybe a mate or two on their MTBs to get the seat up a bit

The problem is the attitude of I know best and ignoring you when you tell them you don't need their help. Especially when they've seen you already decline several offering of help immediately before theirs. In fact you have far more experience at fixing stuff than they do.

No problem with offers of help, but learn to recognise a no in response when you get it. I.e. Just listen for once.

 

[jonny jeez]

Thats where I would disagree with you, I think a subset of that group would behave the same to anyone but most wouldn't.

Fair enough. I wouldn't say I disagree either ...perhaps this is where this thread is being challenged. Its a subset of a group, I'd call that subset idiots.

Edit...sorry I've realised that I read this the wrong way round.
Perhaps you are right. Perhaps a subset does behave just as badly to anyone and that I have witnessed a subset.

I'm not convinced that this is the case but am happy to admit that its possible

 

[nickyboy]

As Ride Leader, I intend to patronise all and sundry on the Manchester to Llandudno ride. If you're coming, expect unsolicited advice on saddle height, cadence and pump choice as an absolute minimum. My advice will not be gender-specific however. Everyone will get it for free

I'm hoping to make it to Rhyl before being chucked in the sea but I've got a feeling I could be having a close encounter with Budworth Mere