An open letter to all condescending male chauvinist cyclists

[Julia9054]

As a bit of an aside but sort of on the same subject, as you may remember we're currently trying to make a half decent job of raising a daughter. One of the things we're doing is to always praise the action, not the child. So we never say "good girl", and to me that phrase seems horribly patronising even when said to a one year old.

I remember my 3 year old son coming home from nursery and stating "girls are good, boys are naughty". I could have wept - not good for either gender.

 

[Julia9054]

[QUOTE 4757138, member: 76"]A few guys cycling along a cycle path, going a bit, then they come across some other cyclists who are practicing cycling no-handed and wobbling around a bit. One of them suggests not wobbling over the path where other people may not realise what is happening and inadvertently cause a crash.



Possibly he had a female friend who would be interested in joining your group, but best he do one eh? The hi-viz/helmet comments, I am more than happy to concede this could be a sign of nobberdom.



In your cold heart do you have no room to believe this could have been a genuine attempt to be helpful?



She was on the wrong side of the path, this is the short of behaviour that gets cyclists a bad name, why did she not wait for a short while, or ring her bell/call ahead to warn the pedestrian. Nobbery ok, but from the cyclist on the wrong side of the path. Going through a red light is a sure sign of male arrogance, riding on the wrong side of a pedestrian path is perfectly ok and should never be challenged if the offender is a woman.[/QUOTE]
You weren't there.
But, of course, you know best.

 

[growingvegetables]

... Could it be that man gets it a lot from man too? ...

Fwiw - I have not experienced the sort of crap you've been getting. Am I 99% certain that my daughters have experienced it? Yup. No question. [But I'll be honest - I'm on the lookout for this kind of crap as it affects them in (dare I say it?) more important parts of life? Their work? Their employment? And Lord knows, they have plenty such patronising crap. Many another story.]

Your question. "Do men get such crap from other men too?"

Yup - but I suspect there's an element of calculation involved on the part of the willy-waver. (Crucially, but not solely - the size of the other bloke! Basic male-on-male psychology. Willy-wavers don't want to waste a willy-wave - or worse, be confronted by a BIGGER willy-wave.)

Taking your question a step onwards. Can men bring relevant experience to bear? Hmmm.

- Bottom line. The guys who can, probably won't. Sorry folks - but that's pretty basic in any understanding of bullying and its effects.

- But then there's the guys who do claim to have "relevant experience"? Hmmm, would it be uncharitable of me to speculate they may have an agenda? Of course it would be. I mean ... well ... somehow ... all that effort?

But damn it, the silly prats are dredging years and years of their memory (with all the problems THAT involves!), to find the odd, one-off, single incident in so many years of cycling, that so seared their psyche all those years ago, that they only now feel they can reveal it publically on CC! News for such lads - I'm a cynic, don't believe a word of it, ... hey, and your agenda is just a little transparent!

That would not change my stance though: I am not having it no more, next guy to do this to me is gonna be at the receiving end of a very sharp (verbal) lashing..

Good.

 

[theclaud]

[QUOTE 4757138, member: 76"]
In your cold heart do you have no room to believe this could have been a genuine attempt to be helpful?
[/QUOTE]

Srsly??

 

[growingvegetables]

[QUOTE 4757138, member: 76"]A few guys .....[/QUOTE]
FFS - you're two-thirds of the way through to New Zealand! You make Japanese Knotweed look friendly! Do you have no friends who will take that ******* spade out of your hands?

STOP DIGGING!

 

[slowmotion]

As a bit of an aside but sort of on the same subject, as you may remember we're currently trying to make a half decent job of raising a daughter. One of the things we're doing is to always praise the action, not the child. So we never say "good girl", and to me that phrase seems horribly patronising even when said to a one year old.

I sometimes say "Good man" to sixty year olds.

 

[Crackle]

Srsly??

He left out callous.

 

[winjim]

[QUOTE 4757138, member: 76"]She was on the wrong side of the path, this is the short of behaviour that gets cyclists a bad name, why did she not wait for a short while, or ring her bell/call ahead to warn the pedestrian. Nobbery ok, but from the cyclist on the wrong side of the path. Going through a red light is a sure sign of male arrogance, riding on the wrong side of a pedestrian path is perfectly ok and should never be challenged if the offender is a woman.[/QUOTE]
Riding on the wrong side of a path* is not the worst crime in the world. Neither is cycling through a red light. But doing the latter immediately after berating somebody for doing the former is top class twattery.



*or larking about riding no handed

 

[Pat "5mph"]

[QUOTE 4757138, member: 76"]In your cold heart do you have no room to believe this could have been a genuine attempt to be helpful?[/QUOTE]
My heart is more than cold, it's frozen: I have been cycle commuting, in Glasgow, for 6 winters now

 

[SteveF]

Why? This is a cycling issue for sure, don't you think?

No, I think it's politics or the old SCP, cycling is incidental e.g. it could be about cycling or gardening, DIY, driving, cooking, bringing up children etc etc and can be applied to either gender

 

[theclaud]

Mrs R says her worst experiences of being patronised occur in bike shops and in particular when we are both there together - sales assistants will talk to me while ignoring her, even though she's the one making the purchase.

She's still spitting from being advised by our plumber (who has never cycled in his life) to buy an electric bike so she can keep up with me......actually it's me who needs the motor.

A Visit from the Gas Man

 

[Julia9054]

[QUOTE 4757159, member: 76"]Of course I was not there. So I am asking if there are any alternative interpretations of the events.[/QUOTE]
Of course, it is possible. But unlikely. Women know when they are being patronised - the reason being that it happens often and in all sorts of situations and the subtleties of communication and interaction is such that those who were there are best placed to judge the intentions behind that interraction. What we expect is that when such interactions are reported, we are believed.

 

[winjim]

I sometimes say "Good man" to sixty year olds.

But not "good boy"?

 

[theclaud]

[QUOTE 4757190, member: 76"]Do you think that the comment could have come from someone who was trying to be genuinely helpful?[/QUOTE]
I'm not going to get drawn into this non-discussion. You know full well that was a ludicrously unfair thing to say to Pat.

 

[winjim]

[QUOTE 4757184, member: 76"]Different incidents. The red light was the wobbly cycling. The berating was at a woman on the wrong side of the path.[/QUOTE]
My mistake but I think the point still stands.