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Annual Health Checkup

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by beancounter, 13 May 2008.

  1. beancounter

    beancounter Well-Known Member

    Location:
    South Beds
    Went to the doctors last week for my annual checkup.

    He said "You've got to stop masterbating".

    I said "Why?"

    He said "I'm trying to examine you".

    bc
     
  2. gbb

    gbb Legendary Member

    Location:
    Peterborough
    :ohmy::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:

    Very good bc...very good
     
  3. yorkshiregoth

    yorkshiregoth Master of all he surveys

    Location:
    Heathrow
    I was threatened by the staff in my local Homebase the other day.

    I walked in the door and one of the staff asked if I wanted decking?
     
  4. simonali

    simonali Über Member

    Location:
    Wiltshire
    Woman in Homebase buys a wall mirror. Assistant asks "Do you want a screw for that?"

    She replies "No, but I'll suck you off for a lawnmower"
     
  5. Milo

    Milo Veteran

    Location:
    Melksham, Wilts
    :biggrin: ruined monitor now.
     
  6. Mister Paul

    Mister Paul Honky

    Location:
    North Somerset
    A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's old age. 'The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well.'

    A man walked into the doctor's, he said 'I've hurt my arm in several places'
    The doctor said 'well don't go there any more'

    A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time'
    The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'

    I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind' ,
    so he gave me a kite.

    So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house'. He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

    A man goes into the doctors. The doctor says, 'Go over to the window and stick your tongue out.'
    Man says, Why? The doctor says, 'I don't like my neighbours'

    Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought ' This is unusual' .
    And the dentist said to me ' Mr Cooper, get out of the filing cabinet. '

    Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin.
    Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

    So I went to the dentist.
    He said, 'Say Aaah. 'I said, 'Why?' He said, 'My dog's died.'



    <Tommy Cooper hands>