Any good jokes ... ?

[Chris S]

 

[Chris S]

What do Chinese factory workers have for their lunch?
About half an hour.

 

[PaulB]

My wife said she was leaving me due to my obsession with Star Wars. I said 'May divorce be with you."

 

[PeteXXX]

Apple have announced that though sales are down, their turnover is still very good.

I think their business is about to crumble!

 

[tyred]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Salty seadog]

To pass the time last night, my wife and I were competing to see who could do the best black country accent. She won hands down, which
just goes to show, the female of the species is more Dudley than the male.

I have heard that saying about the female of the species being more deadly than the mail.

Well it wasn't that way when my uncle Terry got blown up by a letter bomb.

 

[Venod]

I posted a pic in this thread, but it was deleted, "reason too NCAP", it was nothing to do with new cars, NCAP = new car assessment program, what was the meaning related to my pic ?

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

I posted a pic in this thread, but it was deleted, "reason too NCAP", it was nothing to do with new cars, NCAP = new car assessment program, what was the meaning related to my pic ?

Probably means News, Current Affairs and Politics - and that the post was too political.

 

[Chris S]

Domestic cats can jump higher than a house.
Houses can't jump.

 

[Chris S]

Probably means News, Current Affairs and Politics - and that the post was too political.

I think it was the one about Calais being twinned with Benefits Street. It wasn't even funny either.

 

[Tenkaykev]

View attachment 620045

Sven and Dolf would better suit the meme

 

[Cavalol]

I threw a ball for my dog. It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.

 

[Nibor]

*** Advice needed!! ***

The children keep finding the Christmas prezzies that I have hidden around the house... someone suggested I put them up the attic so I did that last night..... literally had no sleep as all I could hear was them crying and moaning about spiders, the dark and wanting to be let back down 🙄🙄 any other suggestions please?? 🤷🏼‍♂️

 

[tyred]