Any good jokes ... ?

[postman]

View attachment 621232

Oh my word I walked past it in Leeds this week.It sounded ill as well.

 

[PaulB]

I was robbed at the filling station this morning. Police asked if I knew who did it.
"Yes", I said, "Pump number 6."

There you go, Betty Swollocks. You should post that one now.

 

[DRM]

Bloke goes into the chemist and asks the pharmacist about viagra, the pharmacist tells him it’s available in 50mg, 100mg & 200mg strength, so the bloke says can you get it over the counter and the pharmacist says yes you can if you take the 200mg one

 

[Nibor]

 

[postman]

I was on the 52 bus today,the bloke in front of me,got his phone out and showed me a photo of his wife.She is a stunner isn't she,he said.I replied you ought to see my wife ,is she good looking he asked,no I said she is an optician.

 

[Seevio]

Cop: Seen anything unusual?
Me: I saw a dolphin in a top hat once.
Cop: I mean around here.
Me: Nah, they live in the water.

 

[Chris S]

Spoiler: NSFHome

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

View attachment 621259

just what is that expression on the Horses face

 

[tyred]

 

[PK99]

One Xmas a reception teacher asked her class to draw a picture of a Christmas Carol. So the kids got busy with Merry Gentlemen, Three Ships etc...and she got to one kid with shepherds sitting in a circle on the ground pointing at something. So she asked what it was and the child said 'Ted'. She was a bit puzzled and asked which carol it was. He replied While Shepherds Watched their flocks by night, All see Ted on the ground. : )))

 

[PaulB]

The doctor has given me some cream for my excessive gloating - I can't wait to get home and rub it in.

 

[Dave7]

If there really was a p*ss up at No 10 it couldn't have been organised by Boris because, well, you know

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[Venod]