Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
Fun fact related to the above - John Steinbeck had to re-write "Of mice and men" over 2 months because his dog ate the original manuscript.
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
So God agreed.
God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said: "Tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"
And God agreed.
God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed again.
God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
So God agreed.
God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said: "Tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"
And God agreed.
God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed again.
God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
twentysix by twentyfive
Clinging on tightly
- Location
- Over the Hill
Andy_R
Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
- Location
- County Durham
Andy_R
Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
- Location
- County Durham
Be carful out there folks, there's a guy going around dipping his testicles in glitter.
It's pretty nuts out there...
It's pretty nuts out there...
iandg
Legendary Member
- Location
- Dumfries and Galloway
Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
mistyoptic
Vintage
- Location
- A parallel reality
Good advice 👍
Alex321
Veteran
- Location
- South Wales
tribanjules
Guru
- Location
- Birmingham
Crap advice 😉
roadrash
cycle chatterer
- Location
- sitting on the edge of wigan pier
I see what you did there
