Any good jokes ... ?

[rikki]

View attachment 703034

Shouldn't that be in the unbucket list thread?

 

[Seevio]

OK - now how to I erase that from my memory?????

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[Buck]

My first job when I left school was crushing drinks cans.

Soda pressing.

 

[tyred]

 

[Andy_R]

 

[Andy_R]

Anyone with a Patterdale Terrier will able to relate to this....

 

[cyberknight]

 

[Chromatic]

Anyone with a Patterdale Terrier will able to relate to this....
View attachment 703225

We used to have a Patterdale, as I've said in these pages before, the best dogs ever!

 

[Gillstay]

We used to have a Patterdale, as I've said in these pages before, the best dogs ever!

My Dad used to have one that always nipped my best Welsh friend. He had some strange names for it, and none included `best'.

 

[Alex H]

• Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.
  
• I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
• I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.
• Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.
• Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
• A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's old age.' The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well.'
• A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time'
  The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.
• A man walked into the doctor's, he said 'I've hurt my arm in several places'.
  The doctor said 'well don't go there any more'.
• I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
• Slept like a log last night ........ woke up in the fireplace.
• Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.
• Two blondes walked into a building. You'd have thought one would have seen it.
• I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?'
  So he gave me a kite.
• I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.
  Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
• I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for 'flu.
  So I went, and I got it.'

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

I called at the local Library, on my way home from work, on Friday afternoon

This was one of several books l borrowed

All printed, & drawn, in Holmfirth (or they were)
The town is probably better known as the primary location for ’The Last Of The Summer Wine’

It features such classics as
I don’t know any Nurses like that, honest!

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

Bamforths. 2

For @Drago, & other Officers