Many years ago some of us were looking at a diagram of a boiler site glass. We couldn't understand why the tube from the top in to the boiler was labelled "lead pipe". Lead would be totally unsuitable in that application. It look us a long time to realise the it meant "lead" as in rhyming with "read", not as in rhyming with "read".
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Many years ago some of us were looking at a diagram of a boiler site glass. We couldn't understand why the tube from the top in to the boiler was labelled "lead pipe". Lead would be totally unsuitable in that application. It look us a long time to realise the it meant "lead" as in rhyming with "read", not as in rhyming with "read".
king of the mole hills
Active Member
My wife left me because she said I exaggerated all the time
I almost tripped over my cock when she told me
I almost tripped over my cock when she told me
Gwylan
Guru
- Location
- All at sea⛵
We're the chickens an issue then?
Profpointy
Legendary Member
A friend in my dive club didn't drive so would cycle to the club-house with a tank on her back like that, albeit not underwater. Cars gave her a wide berth I gather.
Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
My local has just put up a sign saying, "No mobile phones. Pretend it's 1985."
So I gave them a £1 for a pint of lager and lit a cigarette.
So I gave them a £1 for a pint of lager and lit a cigarette.
Profpointy
Legendary Member
Never go and buy a border collie when drunk
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks for their order.
The man says, “I’ll have a hamburger, fries, and a coke.”
He turns to the ostrich and asks, “What about you?”
“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.
A few minutes later, the waitress brings the food and says,
“That’ll be $9.40.”
The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change. No counting. No wallet. Just the right amount.
The next day, the same thing happens.
Same order. Same ostrich. Same exact change.
This goes on for days.
Then one Friday night, the man says,
“Today I’ll have a steak, baked potato, and a salad.”
“Same,” says the ostrich.
The waitress brings the food. “That’ll be $32.62.”
Once again, the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact amount.
At this point, the waitress can’t hold back.
“Sir… how do you always have the exact amount of money? No matter what you order?”
The man smiles.
“Well, a few years ago, I found an old lamp in the attic. I rubbed it, and a Genie appeared. He gave me two wishes.
For the first one, I asked that anytime I needed to pay for something, I’d just reach into my pocket and find the exact amount.”
“Wow,” says the waitress. “That’s smart. You’ll never run out of money.”
“Exactly,” says the man. “Whether it’s a cup of coffee or a new car, I never need to check. It’s always just there.”
She looks at the ostrich and asks, “And the bird?”
The man sighs and says,
“For my second wish… I asked for a tall chick with long legs who’d follow me around and agree with everything I say.”
The waitress asks for their order.
The man says, “I’ll have a hamburger, fries, and a coke.”
He turns to the ostrich and asks, “What about you?”
“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.
A few minutes later, the waitress brings the food and says,
“That’ll be $9.40.”
The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change. No counting. No wallet. Just the right amount.
The next day, the same thing happens.
Same order. Same ostrich. Same exact change.
This goes on for days.
Then one Friday night, the man says,
“Today I’ll have a steak, baked potato, and a salad.”
“Same,” says the ostrich.
The waitress brings the food. “That’ll be $32.62.”
Once again, the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact amount.
At this point, the waitress can’t hold back.
“Sir… how do you always have the exact amount of money? No matter what you order?”
The man smiles.
“Well, a few years ago, I found an old lamp in the attic. I rubbed it, and a Genie appeared. He gave me two wishes.
For the first one, I asked that anytime I needed to pay for something, I’d just reach into my pocket and find the exact amount.”
“Wow,” says the waitress. “That’s smart. You’ll never run out of money.”
“Exactly,” says the man. “Whether it’s a cup of coffee or a new car, I never need to check. It’s always just there.”
She looks at the ostrich and asks, “And the bird?”
The man sighs and says,
“For my second wish… I asked for a tall chick with long legs who’d follow me around and agree with everything I say.”
Gwylan
Guru
- Location
- All at sea⛵
Tasted better, I hope.
Toshiba Boy
N+1er
- Location
- By the beach, West Zummerzet
