Any good jokes ... ?

[betty swollocks]

A well-known German composer walks into a video store and asks the guy behind the counter,
"Where can I find a copy of Terminator?"
"Aisle B, Bach."

 

[simon the viking]

I've just sold my 40mm Spanner..... I didn't want to..... It was a big wrench

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

My father in law used to work in a watch factory. He would sit in the corner making faces.

 

[benb]

Parallel lines have so much in common. Pity they will never meet.

That's not true.
Consider a globe. Lines of longitude are parallel, but meet at the poles.

 

[DaveReading]

Consider a globe. Lines of longitude are parallel, but meet at the poles.

They meet because they aren't parallel.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

As the goddess Debbie of Harry said -

The lines I have written that you read between
The lines on the pages
The lines on the screen
Of lines spoken - I say what I mean.
It's parallel lines that will never meet.

 

[benb]

They meet because they aren't parallel.

It was an analogy.
Lines of longitude are parallel on the surface they describe. Similarly, true parallel lines can meet, depending on the curvature of spacetime.

 

[Profpointy]

It was an analogy.
Lines of longitude are parallel on the surface they describe. Similarly, true parallel lines can meet, depending on the curvature of spacetime.

Umm, the last bit is wrong. If they meet they ain't parallel - that's what being parallel means. With certain versions of curved spacetime parallel lines simply don't exisit. With others, you could have many lines through a point parallel to a given line. It's an axiom of Euclidean geometry that there exisits one and only one line through a point parallel to another line. Other axioms are available.

 

[PaulB]

Umm, the last bit is wrong. If they meet they ain't parallel - that's what being parallel means. With certain versions of curved spacetime parallel lines simply don't exisit. With others, you could have many lines through a point parallel to a given line. It's an axiom of Euclidean geometry that there exisits one and only one line through a point parallel to another line. Other axioms are available.

That's got to be THE funniest joke on here? I'll need painkillers to put my ribs back to normal after that. Is it Milton Jones, that one?

 

[swee'pea99]

That's got to be THE funniest joke on here? I'll need painkillers to put my ribs back to normal after that. Is it Milton Jones, that one?

It's the way he tells 'em.

 

[benb]

Umm, the last bit is wrong. If they meet they ain't parallel - that's what being parallel means. With certain versions of curved spacetime parallel lines simply don't exisit. With others, you could have many lines through a point parallel to a given line. It's an axiom of Euclidean geometry that there exisits one and only one line through a point parallel to another line. Other axioms are available.

But spacetime isn't euclidean, that's the point.
Anyway, enough off topic diversions.

 

[raleighnut]

Umm, the last bit is wrong. If they meet they ain't parallel - that's what being parallel means. With certain versions of curved spacetime parallel lines simply don't exisit. With others, you could have many lines through a point parallel to a given line. It's an axiom of Euclidean geometry that there exisits one and only one line through a point parallel to another line. Other axioms are available.

Vanishing Point ?

Spoiler

View: https://youtu.be/4hU6OdT9u2I

 

[DaveReading]

It was an analogy.
Lines of longitude are parallel on the surface they describe.

Well OK, provided you live on the Equator.

 

[Smokin Joe]

It was an analogy.
Lines of longitude are parallel on the surface they describe. Similarly, true parallel lines can meet, depending on the curvature of spacetime.

That's one hell of a punchline, but I still didn't get it.

 

[User33236]

Sorry I posted that one now. Can we get back to jokes now please.