Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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itchybeard
Senior Member
- Location
- North Lancashire
Its late at night, and a couple are in bed, suddenly there is a knock on the door.
The husband says who the hec is that at this time of the night. He gets his gown on, walks downstairs, opens the door.
There and a man is standing there. the Man apologies to the husband, but he says desperately that he is stuck up the road and can he have a push...
The husband says, at this time, no chance mate.The man says, go on, I'm desperate, but the husband refuses.
He closes the door, walks back up stairs, takes his gown off and back into bed. His wife ask, who was that?
the husband says a man wanting a push, the wife says. well could you of not helped him, husband replies,no. not at this time!
The wife reflects and says, well, remember the time we broke down, and if it wasn't for a nice person helping us, we'd be stuck.
The husband ponders, says ok then. He gets back out of bed, gown back on, walks downstairs, opens the door. He shouts out up the street to the man...
saying, mate, you still there? a reply says, yeh. Husband says, You still needing a push?, the man shouts, yeh.
The husbands shouts, where you at? the man replies, over here on the swing...!
The husband says who the hec is that at this time of the night. He gets his gown on, walks downstairs, opens the door.
There and a man is standing there. the Man apologies to the husband, but he says desperately that he is stuck up the road and can he have a push...
The husband says, at this time, no chance mate.The man says, go on, I'm desperate, but the husband refuses.
He closes the door, walks back up stairs, takes his gown off and back into bed. His wife ask, who was that?
the husband says a man wanting a push, the wife says. well could you of not helped him, husband replies,no. not at this time!
The wife reflects and says, well, remember the time we broke down, and if it wasn't for a nice person helping us, we'd be stuck.
The husband ponders, says ok then. He gets back out of bed, gown back on, walks downstairs, opens the door. He shouts out up the street to the man...
saying, mate, you still there? a reply says, yeh. Husband says, You still needing a push?, the man shouts, yeh.
The husbands shouts, where you at? the man replies, over here on the swing...!
ayceejay
Guru
- Location
- Rural Quebec
It was the 'gown' that threw me on that one,
swee'pea99
Legendary Member
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
Talking about tips, just had a word with my son about leaving the girls alone for a few years and living free and easy as he's really upset about his girlfriend leaving him.
He told me it was because she thought all he cared about, and talked about, was football, football, football. He went on to say I'm really going to miss her, after all I've been seeing her for three seasons.
He told me it was because she thought all he cared about, and talked about, was football, football, football. He went on to say I'm really going to miss her, after all I've been seeing her for three seasons.
Andy_R
Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
- Location
- County Durham
srw
It's a bit more complicated than that...
LCpl Boiled Egg
Three word soundbite
If anyone is interested, today marks the start of National Diarrhoea Awareness Week - runs until Friday.
threebikesmcginty
Corn Fed Hick...
- Location
- ...on the slake
My mum's soup is so thick when you stir it the room goes round.
