Any good jokes ... ?

[Salty seadog]

My girlfriend said she'll only marry me if I overcame my obsession with the police force.

I can't wait to go down on one knee nor knee nor knee nor.

I'd probably delete that one if i could.

 

[Cavalol]

 

[Cavalol]

Apparently 'You can find someone else if anything ever happens to me' doesn't include my wife being stuck in traffic.

 

[slowmotion]

Are faintly obscene schoolboy limericks allowed? I was told this one by a man who started out as a young British emigre and farmed on Vancouver Island near Zeballos. He eventually became Dean of a medical school in Hawaii. Today, we passed the turn off to where he used to farm....,and smiled.

There was a young girl from Zeballos
Who used a stick of dynamite as a phallus
They found her vagina in North Carolina
And the rest of her body in Dallas

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Worst joke I have ever heard on radio2 was last night, they are going to get a letter.

This from a spanish female comedian,

"When I die I want my ashes thrown in the eye's of cyclist's."

I'd also mention the incorrect use of apostrophes when you write. Shocking for the BBC.....

 

[Threevok]

Are faintly obscene schoolboy limericks allowed?

There was an ex-poster - slowmotion
who had a daring new notion
to post up some ditties
that mentioned some titties
and was banned without further emotion

 

[subaqua]

I'd also mention the incorrect use of apostrophes when you write. Shocking for the BBC.....

it still whooshing over my head. not the apostrophe issue... the "joke"

 

[screenman]

it still whooshing over my head. not the apostrophe issue... the "joke"

It made me feel slightly angry, worse I thought was the audience laughing.

 

[Fnaar]

My girlfriend said she'll only marry me if I overcame my obsession with the police force.

I can't wait to go down on one knee nor knee nor knee nor.

 

[theclaud]

Are faintly obscene schoolboy limericks allowed? I was told this one by a man who started out as a young British emigre and farmed on Vancouver Island near Zeballos. He eventually became Dean of a medical school in Hawaii. Today, we passed the turn off to where he used to farm....,and smiled.

There was a young girl from Zeballos
Who used a stick of dynamite as a phallus
They found her vagina in North Carolina
And the rest of her body in Dallas

Second line doesn't scan.

 

[T4tomo]

There was an ex-poster - slowmotion
who had a daring new notion
to post up some ditties
that mentioned some titties
and was banned as some lines didn't scan properly

 

[JtB]

Worst joke I have ever heard on radio2 was last night, they are going to get a letter.

This from a spanish female comedian,

"When I die I want my ashes thrown in the eye's of cyclist's."

Even after removing the rogue apostrophes the joke is still so bad that I don’t get it.

 

[T4tomo]

Even after removing the rogue apostrophes the joke is still so bad that I don’t get it.

It's more hate speach than humour, although as I assume she didn't literally mean it it could be passed off as lame joke.

 

[simon the viking]

Ive just received part of my order of Star Trek Voyager figurines.. They didnt dispatch them all...

Just Seven of Nine....

 

[Dave7]

My girlfriend said she'll only marry me if I overcame my obsession with the police force.

I can't wait to go down on one knee nor knee nor knee nor.

My girl friend said she would only marry me if I had a twelve inch willy.
I told her........I am not cutting three inches off my willy for anyone.