glasgowcyclist
Charming but somewhat feckless
- Location
- Scotland
Why, because he croaked?
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Why, because he croaked?
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
GM
Legendary Member
- Location
- North of the river
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Greek descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina are men from Ireland.”
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Papadopolis, but my friends call me Paddy".
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Greek descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina are men from Ireland.”
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Papadopolis, but my friends call me Paddy".
betty swollocks
large member
An Englishman is being shown around a Scottish hospital. At the end of the tour he is shown into a ward with a number of patients who show no signs of injury.
He goes to examine the first man he sees, and the man proclaims: "Fair fa' yer honest sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin' race!".
The Englishman, somewhat taken aback, goes to the next patient, who immediately launches into "Some hae meat, and canna eat, and some wad eat that want it, But we hae meat and we can eat, and sae the Lord be thankit."
The next patient sits up and declaims: "Wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie, O what a panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, wi' bickering bl'attle. I wad be laith to run and chase thee, wi' murdering prattle."
"Well," says the Englishman to his Scottish colleague, "I see you saved the psychiatric ward for the last."
"No, no," the Scottish doctor corrects him, "This is the Serious Burns Unit."
He goes to examine the first man he sees, and the man proclaims: "Fair fa' yer honest sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin' race!".
The Englishman, somewhat taken aback, goes to the next patient, who immediately launches into "Some hae meat, and canna eat, and some wad eat that want it, But we hae meat and we can eat, and sae the Lord be thankit."
The next patient sits up and declaims: "Wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie, O what a panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, wi' bickering bl'attle. I wad be laith to run and chase thee, wi' murdering prattle."
"Well," says the Englishman to his Scottish colleague, "I see you saved the psychiatric ward for the last."
"No, no," the Scottish doctor corrects him, "This is the Serious Burns Unit."
glasgowcyclist
Charming but somewhat feckless
- Location
- Scotland
One reel or two?
glasgowcyclist
Charming but somewhat feckless
- Location
- Scotland
I'll bet they have lots of great lines.
Salty seadog
Space Cadet...(3rd Class...)
You made a rod for your own back with that gag.
Wixsteman
Veteran
- Location
- At the edge
I’m hooked
You're just fishing for laughs.
