Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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betty swollocks
large member
You're giving us some laughs with your jokes, so, thank you. No-one has a right not to be offended.
I've had a couple removed, somewhat arbitrarily, if you ask me, but I didn't kick up a stink because TBH, I don't give a monkey's.
Smokin Joe
Legendary Member
- Location
- Bare headed cyclist, Smoker
Pigs really can fly.
With sufficient thrust, that is.
With sufficient thrust, that is.
A horse walks into a bar
Barman says Why the long face?
Barman says Why the long face?
Wait a sekonda i'm still trying to think of one
Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
A Jihadi walks into a bar and says "Where is everybody?"
raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
You took yer Timex.
A bloke walks in a bar and says "can I have a pint of best bitter, a whisky and a packet of ready salted crisps please".
The barman says "you are in the Salvation Army aren't you"
The bloke says "amazing, how did you know that"?
The barman says "its written on your cap".
The barman says "you are in the Salvation Army aren't you"
The bloke says "amazing, how did you know that"?
The barman says "its written on your cap".
mrcunning
Über Member
This guys walking through a graveyard
When he hears a man sobbing and crying out “Why did you die, oh why did you have to die?”
He was so moved he knelt down beside the grieving man and said “Was this person very close to you?”
“No, actually I never met him!” replied the man.
“Why are you moaning then?” asked the passer by
“He was my wife’s first husband!”
When he hears a man sobbing and crying out “Why did you die, oh why did you have to die?”
He was so moved he knelt down beside the grieving man and said “Was this person very close to you?”
“No, actually I never met him!” replied the man.
“Why are you moaning then?” asked the passer by
“He was my wife’s first husband!”
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
A man checks into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely. He thought, "I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab." He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. He copied the phone number and returned to his hotel. When back in the room he figures, "What the heck, I'll give her a call." "Hello," the woman says. She sounded sexy. "Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks... We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?"
She says, "That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."
She says, "That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."
TissoT
Guru
- Location
- The Home of British cycling
What did kermit the frog say a Jim Hensons Funnel ?
Nothing.
Nothing.
