Any good jokes ... ?

[colly]

BAD: Finding a porn video in your son's bedroom.

WORSE: You're in it.

Worse still is if your wife is in it.

Even worse is if your son is in it

Dont even think about how bad it is if they are BOTH in it

 

[betty swollocks]

Alternative Lejog:-

 

[raleighnut]

Alternative Lejog:-

View attachment 471858

Why'd you miss out Penistone?

 

[GM]

Went to see a old friend who works in a cotton mill. He wasn't there. He had gone for cotton.
Went back a week later, same thing. Gone for cotton.
A week later told he had died.
So went to the cemetery. On his head stone it said...

Gone but not for cotton.

 

[Dayvo]

I've been asked to be the best man at my friend's second wedding.

Would it be appropriate for me to open my speech with 'Welcome back everyone?'

 

[T4tomo]

I've been asked to be the best man at my friend's second wedding.

Would it be appropriate for me to open my speech with 'Welcome back everyone?'

Half the room might find it funny.....

 

[Andy_R]

Why'd you miss out Penistone?

and Wetwang

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Alternative Lejog:-

View attachment 471858

Suspicions confirmed for some I'm sure

 

[Profpointy]

Alternative Lejog:-

View attachment 471858

Point of pedantry, but Twatt is in Orkney not Shetland

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Point of pedantry, but Twatt is in Orkney not Shetland

Must have moved it then.

 

[Profpointy]

Must have moved it then.

Are there two then ?

edit: indeed there are ! Every day is a school day on here

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Aye, two Twatts in Scotland

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

As an aside, I was up there a couple of weeks ago and told my customer I was going to find the sign and get a picture taken.

He laughed and said "Oh, I come from Twatt"

"Don't we all?" his secretary chipped in.

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[Dayvo]

Half the room might find it funny.....

Probably more than on here, then!