Any good jokes ... ?

[colly]

America is storming Area 51. Let Europe storm the Vatican.

America can have the Aliens.

Europe will get the Predators.

 

[colly]

Avoid using brown bread if you're making sandwiches for a Cockneys funeral.

 

[Cavalol]

Laway!

I don't know what that means, but Enya wanted me to say it.

 

[Cavalol]

Good morning, you're through to the RSPCA. How can I help?
"Hello. There's a polecat clinging to my ceiling fan."
I don't believe you.
"Well, you'll just have to take my whirred ferret."

 

[CharlesF]

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it…


We went out and had some drinks..


Cool guy..


Wants to be a web developer.

 

[Cavalol]

I think my neighbour fancies me. She's been waving at me from her swimming pool for the last 5 minutes.

Oh, maybe not - she's stopped now.

 

[Archie_tect]

My window-cleaner's name is Mr. Bit.

 

[burntoutbanger]

Think the new girl in the office has a bit of a crush on me. I was in there earlier having a chat and as I walked away I overheard her say to a colleague, "What an arse."

 

[Chris S]

"Mum, I don't want to go to school."
"Why not dear?"
"The kids hate me and the teachers hate me."
"Don't be silly, you've got to go. You're the headmaster."

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

This guy's driving is a joke:


View: https://twitter.com/ydrol/status/1153247744053665792?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1153247744053665792&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pieandbovril.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Fapp%3Dcore%26module%3Dsystem%26controller%3Dembed%26url%3Dhttps%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fydrol%2Fstatus%2F1153247744053665792



Where can I hire a Citroen Airbag?

 

[Arjimlad]

Saw this on Twitter, what an absolute idiot !

This guy's driving is a joke:


View: https://twitter.com/ydrol/status/1153247744053665792?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1153247744053665792&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pieandbovril.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Fapp%3Dcore%26module%3Dsystem%26controller%3Dembed%26url%3Dhttps%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fydrol%2Fstatus%2F1153247744053665792



Where can I hire a Citroen Airbag?

 

[Cavalol]

My mate has built a giant walk-in kettle.

He's in his element at the moment.

 

[Archie_tect]

Saw this on Twitter, what an absolute idiot !

Cumbria Police would like to contact the gentleman to discuss a number of charging options...

 

[colly]

Dear Capitalists,

Stop exploiting poor people for your own personal gain.

Yours faithfully,

Gender fluid Marxist.

Sent from my Iphone X

Location: Starbucks

Enjoying: Skinny de-caf soya flat white. With gluten-free almond croissant.

 

[Lullabelle]