subaqua
What’s the point
- Location
- Leytonstone
I didn't take it personally
it could have been better
Tyreanasorearse - see what i did there.
yeah OK it wasn't any better
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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it could have been better
Tyreanasorearse - see what i did there.
yeah OK it wasn't any better
Cubist
Still wavin'
- Location
- Ovver 'thill
I actually prefer the modern version which is " you go and give him a piece of your mind, I'll hold your kebab."
AndyRM
XOXO
- Location
- North Shields
A woman walks into a bar and asks for a Single Entendre.
So the barman f*cks her.
So the barman f*cks her.
vernon
Harder than Ronnie Pickering
- Location
- Meanwood, Leeds
swee'pea99
Legendary Member
Just remembered (damned if I know why) one of my Dad's favourite jokes:
Bloke sitting quietly in a transport caff, enjoying his fry-up, when in walk three hairy-arsed bikers. They park up at his table, and one leans over, picks up his tea, and takes a big slurp. A few moments later, the second leans over, takes a chip, wiggles it round in the yolk of his egg, then pops it in his mouth. A few more seconds pass, then the third one picks up a sausage, munches the end off, and puts it back on his plate. After a few seconds, the bloke gets up, nods to the man at the counter, and leaves. The three saunter up to the counter. "He wasn't much of a man, was he?" one says to the guy at the counter. "Wasn't much of a driver either," he replies: "He's just reversed his artic over three Harley Davidsons."
Bloke sitting quietly in a transport caff, enjoying his fry-up, when in walk three hairy-arsed bikers. They park up at his table, and one leans over, picks up his tea, and takes a big slurp. A few moments later, the second leans over, takes a chip, wiggles it round in the yolk of his egg, then pops it in his mouth. A few more seconds pass, then the third one picks up a sausage, munches the end off, and puts it back on his plate. After a few seconds, the bloke gets up, nods to the man at the counter, and leaves. The three saunter up to the counter. "He wasn't much of a man, was he?" one says to the guy at the counter. "Wasn't much of a driver either," he replies: "He's just reversed his artic over three Harley Davidsons."
I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter.
We drank a bit, and we had a bit of a snuggle, and she asked if I ever had a 'Sportsman's Double?'.
'What's that?' I asked.
'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.
'Oh,' I said as my mind began to embrace the idea, No I haven't.'
And I wondered what this daughter of hers might look like.
We drank a bit more, then she says with a wink that tonight was 'my lucky night'.
I went back to her place.
We walked in. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mom, You still awake?'
We drank a bit, and we had a bit of a snuggle, and she asked if I ever had a 'Sportsman's Double?'.
'What's that?' I asked.
'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.
'Oh,' I said as my mind began to embrace the idea, No I haven't.'
And I wondered what this daughter of hers might look like.
We drank a bit more, then she says with a wink that tonight was 'my lucky night'.
I went back to her place.
We walked in. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mom, You still awake?'
- Location
- The TerrorVortex
It's a variant on this one :-
Woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre, so the barman gave her one.
- Location
- The TerrorVortex
A problem which applies to most of this thread!! 
AndyRM
XOXO
- Location
- North Shields
A problem which applies to most of this thread!!
Indeed. If nobody else is going to make an effort, I don't see why I should.
Puddles
Do I need to get the spray plaster out?
- Location
- Hamble, Southampton
Just spied this it made me 
My neighbour found out that her dog ( a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the chemist and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month
The lady went to the chemist and bought some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
The lady said, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days."
The lady replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."
The pharmacist says, "Well stay off your bicycle for about a week."
My neighbour found out that her dog ( a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the chemist and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month
The lady went to the chemist and bought some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
The lady said, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days."
The lady replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."
The pharmacist says, "Well stay off your bicycle for about a week."
AndyRM
XOXO
- Location
- North Shields
2644006 said:
F*ck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps.
thom
____
- Location
- The Borough
Serious question, are there any jokes in this thread that you feel are worthwhile ? What is your favourite joke out of interest ?
I like the bad puns although they just make me groan or smile rather than laugh. Granted, there are some tasteless offerings in this thread but it ain't all totally crap...
