LCpl Boiled Egg
Three word soundbite
Don't talk to me about Riverdance... I was their prinicipal dancer untiI I got sacked for using my arms.
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Don't talk to me about Riverdance... I was their prinicipal dancer untiI I got sacked for using my arms.
mistyoptic
Vintage
- Location
- A parallel reality
betty swollocks
large member
I had a rude shock yesterday when seeing a specialist.
- I thought I had an appointment with Dr. Colin Oscopy.
- I thought I had an appointment with Dr. Colin Oscopy.
Chris S
Legendary Member
- Location
- Birmingham
ClichéGuevara
Legendary Member
- Location
- Kingston upon the River Hull
Now keep your distance before I let you in to this one...
Husband doing crossword with his wife..
Husband: Emphatic No, five letters.
Wife: Never
H: Pistol, 3 letters.
W: Gun
H: Disgust, 3 letters.
W: Ugh
H: Charity, 4 letters.
W: Give
H: Female sheep, 3 letters
W: Ewe
H: Pixar movie, 2 letters
W: Up
Eye thenk yaw.
.
Husband doing crossword with his wife..
Husband: Emphatic No, five letters.
Wife: Never
H: Pistol, 3 letters.
W: Gun
H: Disgust, 3 letters.
W: Ugh
H: Charity, 4 letters.
W: Give
H: Female sheep, 3 letters
W: Ewe
H: Pixar movie, 2 letters
W: Up
Eye thenk yaw.
.
betty swollocks
large member
Mo1959
Legendary Member
- Location
- Perthshire,Scotland
Maybe appropriate just now!
A little old lady went to buy cat food. She picked up three cans, but was told by the cashier:
"I'm sorry, but we can't sell this to you without proof you have a cat. Too many seniors are buying cat food to eat. Management wants proof that you are buying this for your cat."
So the lady went home, brought in her cat and was sold the cat food.
The next day, she comes in and tries to buy two cans of dog food and was again told she couldn't buy them without proof.
So the lady went home, brought in her dog and was sold the dog food...
One day later, she brought in a box with a hole in the lid and asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said:
"No, you might have a snake in there."
The lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box, quickly pulled it out and screamed:
"That smells like shoot."
The lady replied:
"It is... I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper please." 😂😂
A little old lady went to buy cat food. She picked up three cans, but was told by the cashier:
"I'm sorry, but we can't sell this to you without proof you have a cat. Too many seniors are buying cat food to eat. Management wants proof that you are buying this for your cat."
So the lady went home, brought in her cat and was sold the cat food.
The next day, she comes in and tries to buy two cans of dog food and was again told she couldn't buy them without proof.
So the lady went home, brought in her dog and was sold the dog food...
One day later, she brought in a box with a hole in the lid and asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said:
"No, you might have a snake in there."
The lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box, quickly pulled it out and screamed:
"That smells like shoot."
The lady replied:
"It is... I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper please." 😂😂
Smokin Joe
Legendary Member
- Location
- Bare headed cyclist, Smoker
Was out for a short walk this evening, and on the way home decided to take the short-cut past the cemetery. Just as I entered it, two young girls called to ask me if I would walk them through it as they were scared of going through at night on their own, I said I would and off we all went, about halfway through one of the girls asked me if I was ever scared using it at night, I said I used to be when I was alive but it doesn't bother me now. They must have been elite athletes, the speed they moved.
