Any good jokes ... ?

[EltonFrog]

Doesn’t anyone ever read this thread before posting jokes?

 

[cisamcgu]

Nope !

 

[Buck]

Doesn’t anyone ever read this thread before posting jokes?

 

[Cavalol]

Droll

Still funnier than your effort though.





I suffer from a compulsion to touch dairy products.


I'm feeling much butter now.

 

[Cavalol]

Thought I heard a tap on the door

You've made your point, no need to faucet.

 

[morrisman]

I know a girl who fancies Sir Francis Drake, she likes a bit of ruff.

 

[colly]

A man doesn't walk into a pub ....

 

[PaulB]

I became addicted to auctions after going once...going twice.

 

[Cavalol]

Last night, following the advice of the government, Sean Connery dismantled his favourite bookcase and put each individual part into a separate room.

 

[Cavalol]

H
e l
p M e
I A m T
r a p p e d
I n A n E y e
c h a r t F a c t o r y.

 

[PaulB]

Last night, following the advice of the government, Sean Connery dismantled his favourite bookcase and put each individual part into a separate room.

You're going to have to explain that one.

 

[steveindenmark]

An Englishman, Italian and a Spaniard walked into a bar.

"Oh no they didnt"

Sorry. I thought this was the panto post.

 

[Boo]

@PaulB

I suspect you'll find it's to do with 'Shelf Isolation'.

 

[matticus]

@PaulB

I suspect you'll find it's to do with 'Shelf Isolation'.

SHelf iSHolation, SHurely?

(saw a rare thing on the telly yesterday - SHaun Connery in a fairly vanilla-looking Weshtern. Sorry, Western. He shure made a handshome cowboy … )

 

[ClichéGuevara]

Sean Connery says he's finally found his niche.

Apparently she was in the garden with his nephew.