Any good jokes ... ?

[Archie_tect]

One of Ronald Reagan's:
When Moskvich cars in Russia had to be pre-ordered and paid for in advance with a massive lead-in time, a Russian family excitedly ordered one.

The salesman said, "It'll be ready exactly 7 years from today."

The husband said, "Morning or afternoon?"

The salesman looked at him, wondering if he was mocking the great Russian automotive industry or just trying to be funny/.

"Why do you ask 'Morning or Afternoon', what does it matter 7 years from today, are you making a joke?"

The husband was worried he would be reported so quickly replied, "Well the plumber is coming in the morning."

 

[Cavalol]

PIE S
MO GAN

There appears to be a massive Rs hole in this post.

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[Mike Ayling]

Wiremu, a New Zealander, was on the dole in Australia but about to fly home to watch the Rugby World Cup and was not feeling well, so he decided to see a doctor. "Hey doc, I dun't feel so good, ey" said Wiremu.

The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu that he had long existing and advanced prostate problems and that the only cure was testicular removal. "No way doc" replied Wiremu "I'm gitting a sicond opinion ey!"

The second Aussie doctor gave Wiremu the same diagnosis and also advised him that testicular removal was the only cure. Not surprisingly, Wiremu refused the treatment.

Wiremu was devastated, but with the Rugby World Cup just around the corner he found an expat Kiwi doctor and decided to get one last opinion from someone he could trust.

The Kiwi doctor examined him and said: "Wiremu Cuzzy Bro, you huv Prostate suckness ey." "What's the cure thin doc?" asked Wiremu hoping for a different answer. "Wull, Wiremu", said the Kiwi doctor "Wi're gonna huv to cut off your balls."

"Phew, thunk god for thut!" said Wiremu, "those Aussie bastards wanted to take my test tickets off me!"

 

[tyred]

Hormel made their first batch of SPAM in 1937.

The company has just announced that due to hoarding by consumers, they are going to make a second batch.

 

[PaulB]

Today's mind-boggling question...

Which Icelandic singer was named after a city in England
A, Norwich
B, York
C, Leeds

 

[morrisman]

I was so bored tonight that l phoned a couple of random people in India to see if they'd had an accident in the last 3 years

 

[Cavalol]

The inventor of speed boat has died.

The funeral is tomorrow, followed by the wake.

 

[Cavalol]

I'm sorry to hear your uncle was run over by a boat in Venice.

My gondolences.

 

[PaulB]

Today's mind-boggling question...

Which Icelandic singer was named after a city in England
A, Norwich
B, York
C, Leeds

Bloody hell, no-one's even got this yet!

 

[roley poley]

the birch tree girl

 

[Cavalol]

Who sung 'Forget You'?

A Can't remember

B Pharrell Williams

C Lo Green

 

[cisamcgu]

Bloody hell, no-one's even got this yet!

I thought it funny, didn't know I was supposed to actually answer

It's that Yorkshire lass !

 

[Sharky]

Bloody hell, no-one's even got this yet!

I did. Say it as you see it

 

[The Brewer]

I used to play the triangle in a reggae band, had to give it up, it was just one ting after another