Any good jokes ... ?

[morrisman]

I've cut my full size snooker table down to 6 foot. The rest is history.

 

[Cavalol]

What do you call a man who paints pictures using meat and vegetables?

Stewart.

 

[Cavalol]

I had a cricket match with the presenters of the Great British Bake Off.

“With Noel Fielding?”

No, he was the umpire

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[PaulB]

There's a ruthless gang going around stealing tape measures. The lengths some people will go to.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

There's a ruthless gang going around stealing tape measures. The lengths some people will go to.

Yeah, give them an inch...

 

[PeteXXX]

Yeah, give them an inch...

Yeah, one rule for one...

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

I've been to the doctor, and said "Everytime I stand up, I see Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck".

He asks me, "and how long have you been having these Disney spells?"

 

[Dayvo]

A golfer fell into a huge display of golf clubs at a golf exhibition recently.

The doctor said that the man was OK but he isn't out of the woods yet.

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[colly]

What type of drug can you take if you have an allergic reaction to Rowan Atkinson?













Anti-MisterBean.

 

[betty swollocks]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Venod]

Matt Hancock to close the stable door in ten days time.