Any good jokes ... ?

[betty swollocks]

 

[Cavalol]

In the 1970’s, Sister Sledge used to drive around in British cars.

Their favourites were the Austin Music and Cortina Trap.

 

[PaulB]

I used to sell loose onions until I got the sack.

 

[Cavalol]

My missus hasn't stopped looking through the window this morning since storm Ciara started.


If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her back in.

 

[PaulB]

Eggs are going up. That'll shock a few chickens.

 

[Angus McCoatup]

Barrymore's agent asked him if he was interested in doing panto this year. He said no thanks, I've already done a lad in.

 

[Mr Celine]

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a hebridean crofter?



Mick says 'Hey you get offa ma cloud'.

The crofter says 'Hey McLeod get offa ma ewe'

 

[Dayvo]

View attachment 503843

View attachment 503843

Nope, I spent hours comparing those two pictures and I'll be damned if I can find 5 differences.

 

[PaulB]

Big game today at Longleat Safari Park.

 

[GM]

Shamelessly borrowed from FB....

 

[Threevok]

What's the difference between a New Year's reveler and an MTB Rider ?

One mucks about in fountains....

(My apologies if I used than one before)

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

What's the difference between knitting a small toy sheep and having sex with Piers Morgan?

One is crafting a sheep...

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

One more.

What's the difference between a pair of orthopaedic shoes and a bad drummer?

One bucks up the feet...

 

[Chris S]

 

[Arjimlad]

View: https://twitter.com/YourWullie/status/1226539751689347079