Any good jokes ... ?

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betty swollocks

large member
A man loses both of his ears in an accident, and the surgeon tells him that there are no human transplant ears available, but they have a dog’s ear and a pig’s ear ready to transplant.......so he agrees to the operation. One month later he goes back for a check up, and the doc asks him how he is getting on?
"Well doctor, the dog ear is brilliant. I can hear for miles and nobody ever talks behind my back, but with the pig ear, I seem to be getting a lot of crackling.”
 
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Cavalol

Guru
Location
Chester
My sister is being obsessively stalked by an engineer who builds bridges.

Why cantilever alone?
 

Eziemnaik

Über Member
Stalin's favourite joke (apparently true story, after Hastings' Armageddon)

Georgian delegation: They come, they talk to Stalin, and then they go, heading off down the Kremlin's corridors. Stalin starts looking for his pipe. He can't find it. He calls in Beria, the dreaded head of his secret police. "Go after the delegation, and find out which one took my pipe," he says. Beria scuttles off down the corridor. Five minutes later Stalin finds his pipe under a pile of papers. He calls Beria–"Look, I've found my pipe." "It's too late," Beria says, "half the delegation admitted they took your pipe, and the other half died during questioning."
 

Chris S

Legendary Member
Location
Birmingham
Stalin invites his elderly mother to Moscow to show her how well he's done. He takes her for a ride in his ZIL limousine to his country dacha and then back to his office in the Kremlin with its gold leaf frescoes. "Are you impressed?" he asks. "Yes," she replies, "but what will you do if the communists come again?"
 
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