Any good jokes ... ?

[Toshiba Boy]

Oh blimey! I'm just at the airport and the woman next to me has just fainted and fallen onto the baggage carousel.

Oh, it's ok, she's slowly coming round again.

 

[tyred]

 

[Cavalol]

Really excited about the amateur autopsy club I've joined.

Thursday is open Mike night.

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[Cavalol]

Woke up this morning and realised that someone has stolen all the bulbs in the house.

I'm not angry; I'm delighted.

 

[Cavalol]

My mate told me that his wife was in hospital and was passing the time playing board games such as Snakes & Ladders and Draughts.

Any Chess? I asked.

"No, she's gone private."

 

[Andy in Germany]

Someone just told me the German version of the lightbulb joke:

Q: "How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?"
A: One to screw it in.

That's it: they're very efficient, but have no sense of humour*.

*In 25 years here, I can assure you this isn't true...

 

[Cavalol]

I asked Andy Rouke what Morrissey had on his toast.
He said he didn't know, but Johnny Marr might.

 

[tyred]

 

[craigwend]

 

[tyred]

View attachment 775258

Next stop Venus. Better pack the sunscreen.

 

[Cavalol]

Next stop Uranus. Better pack the bum cream.

 

[Punkawallah]

Next stop Pluto. Best pack the dog biscuits.

 

[MichaelW2]

Next stop Pluto. Best pack the dog biscuits.

Nice planet, shame about their form of governance.

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

Thursday 5th


Eye Centre
Pinderfields General Hospital
Wakefield

Not for me, l took my father

You’d think someone could spell the primary purpose for a Hospital….