Any good jokes ... ?

[markemark]

Two chemists walk into a bar.

Chemist 1: I'd like a glass of H2O
Chemist 2: I'd like a glass of water also.

Chemist 1 curses as his assassination attempt fails.

Spoiler: Explanation if you don't get it

So there will be those that don't get it. Rather than interrupting the thread with "Duh, I don't get it" posts, I thought I would explain.

Chemist 2 is supposed to say "I'd like a glass of H2O too, which sounds like H2O2. H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, which while not explicitly poisonous, can cause nasty internal burns if ingested and will be fatal in large enough doses.

There. Aren't you glad you asked?

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one orders:

"I'll have H₂O, please"

The second chemist orders:

"I'll have H₂O, too"

Both chemists receive water, because the bartender is intelligent enough to recognise subtle inflections and context, and doesn't have any conceivable reason to carry hydrogen peroxide.

PS it reallly didn’t need the explanation assuming it was too difficult to understand. It’s an old joke told here before and people got it.

 

[diplodicus]

I was glad of the explanation

 

[craigwend]

 

[Cavalol]

I find answering the door naked deters trick-or-treaters.

Oh, ffs, here we go again, there are two more here now dressed as policemen.

 

[srj10]

I met my wife on a dating website. I was a bit annoyed, to be honest. We've been married for 23 years.

 

[postman]

When you secretly always wanted a dog...

View attachment 790285

Whats his bark like.

 

[Chromatic]

Whats his bark like.

Ruff.

 

[postman]

Ruff.

I didn't ask about his collar.he he.

 

[PeteXXX]

I dropped a tub of margarine on my toe over a month ago.
It still hurts.

I can't believe it's not better!!