Any good jokes ... ?

[Profpointy]

My wife went to Indonesia.
Djakarta?
No, she flew.

You beat me to it! Though it should really be "I took my wife..." for it to entirely make sense

 

[DRM]

On my stay at an American hotel, I broke the bathroom tap, I reported iI've broken the tap, and the manager said Faucet, no, I said, it just came off in my hand

 

[DRM]

Andy sang, Andy watched, Andy waited while his billy boiled

that's not the lyrics Banjo Patterson wrote

 

[tyred]

View attachment 802501

I know it probably cost more than I'm likely to earn in a lifetime, but I have to say that is the most ugly monstrosity I have ever seen. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

 

[tyred]

 

[DRM]

I know it probably cost more than I'm likely to earn in a lifetime, but I have to say that is the most ugly monstrosity I have ever seen. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

You're not alone it's hideous bling laden carp

 

[craigwend]

 

[tyred]

 

[Seevio]

I just met a woman called Camembert Larson. She said her sister was a famous actress but wouldn't tell me what her name was.

 

[Cavalol]

I'm playing a gig tonight with my band the Ready Meals.

We're the warm up act.

 

[Cavalol]

Does anyone know the acronym for a machine that dispenses cash? I’ve been trying to think of it but I just can’t atm.

 

[Speicher]

Does anyone know the acronym for a machine that dispenses cash? I’ve been trying to think of it but I just can’t atm.

You can bank on someone knowing the answer.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

You can bank on someone knowing the answer.

I note what you did there.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

I note what you did there.

He is just cashing in on an easy opportunity for a pun

 

[Dave7]

Just been to the local shop and asked for 5Lb of potatoes.
The 16 year old girl said "we dont call them that now, we call them kilos".
I said "ok then, I'll have 5Lb of kilos.