Any good jokes ... ?

[Vapin' Joe]

Make your friends think you're intellectual by telling them you don't have a television, then constantly posting on social media how much better life was before social media

 

[Dave7]

Make your friends think you're intellectual by telling them you don't have a television, then constantly posting on social media how much better life was before social media

I will borrow that one

 

[Dave7]

I got out of the shower and said to my wife " look at that, the body of a Greek god".
She said " I hate to tell you this but Buddha was not greek".

 

[Dave7]

The car salesman said "this car will fit 5 people with no problems".
I said "I dont know 5 people with no problems".

 

[PeteXXX]

STAY AWAY FROM WEYMOUTH BEACH !!

Witnessed totally disgusting behaviour on the beach at Weymouth yesterday. A man and woman arguing in front of a load of kids then she smacked him one on the head and it all kicked off between them. The police turned up and the policeman ended up using his baton on the bloke but the man actually managed to get the baton off the policeman and started hitting him and the woman with it.
Then a crocodile turned up and stole all the sausages as the man shouted 'Thats the way to do it'!..........

🐊

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

Soon there will be grandmothers that cant bake, knit or cook but will have big lips, fake breasts, long eyelashes and be covered in tattoos.

That's going to be a good look in their 70s!!!

 

[Dave7]

I am a bit worried as the doctor says they want to keep my hip and replace the rest of me.

 

[raleighnut]

Soon there will be grandmothers that cant bake, knit or cook but will have big lips, fake breasts, long eyelashes and be covered in tattoos.

Whaddya mean soon, there's already a bunch of em round here.....................Oh and faded/blurred old tattoos not a good look

 

[Punkawallah]

That's going to be a good look in their 70s!!!

Too late. Years ago my wife worked in the dementia block of a care home. At least one man with the tear drop tattoos and the ‘cut here’ with dotted line around his neck. Remember these things are for life, folks.

 

[Andy in Germany]

Oh and faded/blurred old tattoos not a good look

Especially on wrinkles. One of many reasons I don't have a tattoo is that I don't want to announce to the world that "I 🤎 I\I//I\" in twenty years.

 

[Dave7]

Especially on wrinkles. One of many reasons I don't have a tattoo is that I don't want to announce to the world that "I 🤎 I\I//I\" in twenty years.

Fully agree. At my age I have recently had my 1st ever tattoo. Its my wife's name 'Sue'. I will be happy to die with that on my neck.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

Too late. Years ago my wife worked in the dementia block of a care home. At least one man with the tear drop tattoos and the ‘cut here’ with dotted line around his neck. Remember these things are for life, folks.

Which is one of the many reasons why I have never had one

How can I know that what I want now is what I will want to still have on me in 10 years time!!

 

[tyred]

 

[Cavalol]

Soon there will be grandmothers that cant bake, knit or cook but will have big lips, fake breasts, long eyelashes and be covered in tattoos.

I watched a video of a group of them the other day. The plumber seemed happy to see them.