Any good jokes ... ?

[Joey Shabadoo]

The barmaid in my local got her nipple pierced today.

I'm terrible at darts.

 

[JtB]

Is there a maximum age to get circumcised?
I'm wondering if there's a cut off point.

The HMRC sends their auditor to audit a synagogue. The auditor is doing all the checks, and then turns to the Rabbi and says, I noticed that you buy a lot of candles. Yes, answered the Rabbi. Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings? he asked. A good question, noted the Rabbi. We actually save them up when we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker and every now and then, they send us a free box of candles. Oh replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his question actually had a practical answer. So he thought he'd try another question, in his obnoxious way... Rabbi, what about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs from the matzo? Ah, yes, replied the Rabbi calmly, we actually collect up the crumbs, we send them in a box back to the manufacturer and every now and then, they send a box of matzo balls. Oh, replied the auditor, thinking hard how to fluster the Rabbi.Well, Rabbi, he went on, what do you do with all the foreskins from the circumcisions? Yes, here too, we do not waste, answered the Rabbi. What we do is save up all the foreskins, and when we have enough we actually send them to the HMRC. HMRC! questioned the auditor in disbelief. Ah, yes, replied the Rabbi, HMRC. And about once a year, they send us a little prick.

 

[Dumpty]

A dying husband in a hospital bed asks his wife, "Our seventh child always looked different from the other six. Did he have a different father?"


His wife, crying uncontrollably answers, "Yes."



He asks, "Whose is it?"



His wife replies, "Yours!"

 

[Dumpty]

The lead singer of Pulp has released a new album consisting of nothing but rooster noises.

Seriously, is there no limit to what that Cocker dude'll do?

 

[Dave7]

The lead singer of Pulp has released a new album consisting of nothing but rooster noises.

Seriously, is there no limit to what that Cocker dude'll do?

My son says that one made him laugh, quite disappointing really as I try to make him cringe.

 

[Dave7]

Anyone got suggestions as to how I can eliminate condensation in my kitchen ?
Feel free to pop in to show me at any time, the kettle's always on.

 

[Dumpty]

My dyslexic club had a day out, to visit a Maritime museum.

Half of us loved it, the other half hated it..

 

[Dumpty]

Today I've been searching for Swiss assisted suicide clinics online.


I've decided to go with the one with no reviews as I'm guessing they're the best

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

Today I've been searching for Swiss assisted suicide clinics online.


I've decided to go with the one with no reviews as I'm guessing they're the best

Not sure I should laugh at that!!!

 

[Profpointy]

View attachment 824531

Took me a couple of minutes 🤪

 

[Dag Hammar]

Anyone got suggestions as to how I can eliminate condensation in my kitchen ?
Feel free to pop in to show me at any time, the kettle's always on.

Page 2354.
Post No 35308.
30th September 2026,

Some chap named Dave 7 liked it 🤣

 

[Dumpty]

I couldn’t believe we lost last night's pub quiz on a tie breaker.

I could have sworn Rasputin's first name was Ra Ra.

 

[AndyRM]

I couldn’t believe we lost last night's pub quiz on a tie breaker.

I could have sworn Rasputin's first name was Ra Ra.

Your coat...

 

[tyred]

 

[Dave7]

Took me a couple of minutes 🤪

Bit slow here, it still hasn't clicked with me.