Any good jokes ... ?

[Dumpty]

Just thought I'd nip over to my Gran's yesterday, and, fair play to her, at 96, she had all the Halloween decorations up - cobwebs and insects in the windows and a skeleton on the couch.



She always makes such a big effort, but yet again there was no answer. I'll pop back next year.

 

[tyred]

 

[Dumpty]

I wouldn't say the wife was fat but she fell down stairs and I thought Eastenders was finishing

 

[matticus]

This is soooo dumb, but made me laugh:

 

[Dumpty]

My wife texted me this morning and said, “Your great”.



I replied, “No, you’re great”.



She’s been in a great mood ever since.


I should correct her grammar more often.

 

[Speicher]

Just when you thought that vegetables cannot use mobile phones, onion rings.

 

[mistyoptic]

This is soooo dumb, but made me laugh:

View attachment 825911

They bungled that…

 

[lenfield]

This is soooo dumb, but made me laugh:

View attachment 825911

An AI answer?

 

[matticus]

An AI answer?

I don't believe so: there have been similar jokes online for a few years now. Quite carefully crafted, IMO anyway!!!

 

[Dumpty]

A man went to the hospital to visit his mother-in-law, who was in serious condition.

When he got back home his wife, very worried, asks: "So, honey? How's my mum doing?"

"She looks great! She is in good health! She will still live for many years! Next week she will be released from the hospital and will come and live with us, forever!"

"Wow that's amazing!" - says the wife - "But this is very strange, yesterday she seemed to be on her deathbed, the doctors said she would only have a few days left to live!"

"Well, I don't know how she was yesterday" - he replied - "But today when I arrived at the hospital, the doctor told me that we should prepare for the worst"

 

[Dumpty]

A bloke I know had a terrible accident at work, he fell into an industrial grinder...



He's fine now.

 

[tyred]

 

[Dumpty]

A rich Frenchman showed me his yachts.



“This is Un, this is Deux, this is Trois, this is Quatre, this is Six.”



Me: “Where’s the fifth one?”



“Cinq.”