jefmcg
Guru
Yeah, I know several parents who have flown literally around the world to help with their grandkids. My godmother probably shouldn't have, but the Alzheimers diagnosis hadn't been made then.
Baby sitting.
- Thread starter gavroche
- Start date
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OP
OP
gavroche
Getting old but not past it
- Location
- North Wales
To be honest, I do feel a bit guilty as I don't want to upset my wife but she seems to be fine about it. We did spend our summer holiday in Kos all together and will have Christmas together as well, as we do every year so me not going this time is not so bad.
bozmandb9
Insert witty title here
- Location
- South Oxfordshire
Initially, I must say I thought maybe you were being a grumpy old man. But to be fair, if your family live that far away, it's a big ask, and I think it's entirely reasonable for you to choose not to babysit. There seems to be a modern assumption that grand parents have nothing better to do, than to wait around for their children to offer them the privilege of being unpaid baby sitters. Doesn't work with my parents as I'm one of 5, and they tend to be very fully booked, since they have their own lives too!
jayonabike
Powered by caffeine & whisky
- Location
- Hertfordshire
That’s one of the reasons why I live in England rather than Wales is because of family (also because Wales is a shithole)
jefmcg
Guru
This may not apply to your daughter and her husband, but I remember my parents going away together when they decided that my older brother could keep us from killing each other. I worked out that my parents literally hadn't been alone for .... 17 or 18 years. They came back giggling like children. I didn't dwell on it - because I am not a weirdo - but recognised that they liked .... really liked ... each other still. I later, in tragic circumstances found out the sexual energy released lasted them until my mother's stroke.
Yeah, I'm going dark and your daughter and her husband didn't raise their children in the 70s so may not have kept it so private. But if it had taken grandparents to let mum and dad spend time together, it would have literally been worth more to them than the eventual inheritance.
swee'pea99
Legendary Member
Have to say I'm astonished by the number of people who clearly think it's reasonable to ask people to make a 660 mile round trip to babysit. To me, that is palpably bonkers. When we had young'uns it was sometimes a bit of a hassle finding someone, but we always did, or we found another workaround. I would never have dreamt of asking my wife's parents to do it - or mine, had they been alive. Round the corner, fine. An hour across town, ok...so long as you don't make a habit of it. But 660 miles? Are you all crazy? She's going to need babysitters quite a lot. Does she expect her parents to drive 2/3 of a thousand miles every time? Has anyone considered the environmental implications of this as 'an approach to babysitting'? She needs to find some other way to do this.
OP
OP
gavroche
Getting old but not past it
- Location
- North Wales
Do I detect sarcasm again?
slowmotion
Quite dreadful
- Location
- lost somewhere
Here's a solution. The sixteen year old babysits the fourteen year old. The sixteen year old can legally be left alone. They will both have an absolute riot when they invite all their friends round.
https://www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone
Failing that, couldn't they go and spend the weekend with friends?
660 miles of driving to babysit for a weekend is taking the piss.
https://www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone
Failing that, couldn't they go and spend the weekend with friends?
660 miles of driving to babysit for a weekend is taking the piss.
Stephenite
Membå
- Location
- OslO
(bluntly but kindly put)
Dave 123
Legendary Member
- Location
- Cambridgeshire alps
When we lived in Plymouth my parents would come down to help us out on occasion. They also came to Cambridge to look after our dog while we were in America. Same kind of distance.
A change of scene to break up the mystery might do you good!
A change of scene to break up the mystery might do you good!
PaulSB
Legendary Member
- Location
- Chorley, Lancashire
For me the point would be why is gavroche being asked? I don’t think he’s stated this.
If it’s some bog standard babysitting, unlikely in my view for 14 and 16 year olds, I’d take your view.
I’m assuming there is a much more important reason; big wedding etc. or possibly the couple badly need a weekend away to be together? If this is the case I feel the request is very reasonable, I would do it whether, gavroche does or not is really up to him.
If we knew the reason we could give a better judgement. If it’s an important reason I think he should help, either go or stick the kids on a train to his place. Doesn’t mean I think him wrong but possibly a touch selfish.
Make sure the party is advertised on Facebook. What could go wrong?
More seriously, at that age and younger, my sister and I travelled to Visit our Dad in the US, usually train from Chester to London, tube and train to Gatwick then two flights to Albuquerque. So why don't they send the kids to you?
nickyboy
Norven Mankey
- Location
- You want hills? We got hills
For a whole weekend babysitting (actually childminding)
660 mile round trip is "no"
Around the corner is "yes"
Were I to be in this situation, and I'm not, I suspect my break point from "no" to yes" would be about 300 mile round trip as a one off. Obviously the more regular the request, the shorter the distance. Were it every weekend, for example, I'd be down to 100 mile round trip (although I'd be telling them to fark right off if it was every weekend anyway)
660 mile round trip is "no"
Around the corner is "yes"
Were I to be in this situation, and I'm not, I suspect my break point from "no" to yes" would be about 300 mile round trip as a one off. Obviously the more regular the request, the shorter the distance. Were it every weekend, for example, I'd be down to 100 mile round trip (although I'd be telling them to fark right off if it was every weekend anyway)
