Best way to get rid of Jehovah's Witnesses?

[Browser]

Tell 'em you're feeling a bit woozy as the pint of blood you donated has left a big hole! Either that or just politely but firmly say "I don't believe in god or organised religion and I do not want to have a discussion about it" and shut the door. Works for my wife anyway

 

[ColinJ]

Tell them you're Jewish. That always works like a shot for some reason.

Ha ha - I actually tried that one once! The two Witnesses said that it would be really interesting to have a theological discussion to see how much our faiths had in common.

That had me stumped for a moment, then I blurted out that sorry, I was really busy. They said that they could come back the following week so I said that I was very busy for the next few months, but they persisted...

Surely I couldn't be busy every day for the rest of my life?

I told them that there was a good chance that I'd be free on April 13th, 2027. They made a note of the date and said that someone would pay me a visit then! I don't know whether they actually had a sense of humour or whether they were just completely brainwashed!

 

[jonesy]

When I was young and more foolish I used to argue with them for ages, but as I've mellowed in old age I've realised how pointless this is, so I simply tell them politely that I'm not a believer and don't particularly want a discussion about it. Of course, if they turn up on P&L, that's another matter...

 

[jpembroke]

Try saying:

"Pleased to meet you,
Hope you guess my name"

best done wearing a dark suit and peeling a hard boiled egg

and hope they're not stones fans

 

[SBH]

TBH they are a bit smarter than that round our way now..... the kids in tow give it away, but you have to look hard at the front of the 'handouts' to see who they are...... they don't explicitly say who they are.....

I do not see them as half as bad as the "knockers" who try to sell you crap overpriced household goods on the doorstep under the pretence of "job experience".

This for me is the arbiter of whether or not I politely decline or just close the door. Respect me by being honest about your intentions and I'll respect you and your approach, even if I do decline to waste further time with it.

It's like those types that start a telephone call with "Don't worry, it's not a sales call!" before talking about their new shop/windows/conservatories, etc. Seriously guys, does anyone ever fall for this crap!?

As for the JWs, no matter how many doors are slammed in your face, if you're going to talk about religion, a little honesty might be a good starting point!

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Have you tried 'Cillet Bang' - it can get rid of most things, apparently!

 

[Perfect Virgo]

Have you tried 'Cillet Bang' - it can get rid of most things, apparently!

Jif used to work too but it's no good now it's Cif!

 

[domd1979]

Sorry but Vim trumps all other cleaners...

Surprised no one's mentioned Mormons yet.... There is a mad cult.

 

[Glow worm]

I may be talking out of term but the JW faith deserves the same respect as any. If we were taking the mick out of Islam or Catholism, I feel it would be looked on in a different manner.

Nope. They are all equally bonkers. Why does someone believing in fairystories command any respect? Religiots over the centuries would have wasted no time in putting to death anyone who doesn't share thier idiotic delusions. Respect, pah, don't make me laugh.

 

[Andy in Sig]

A friend of mine used to fix them with an intense look and say, "But I practise the old religion", with a menacing emphasis on "old". He claimed that this always worked.

'Ere, you don't think JWs read threads like this, do you?

 

[Apeman]

Appear at the door wearing nothing but a pair of rubber gloves holding a saw in one hand and a pound of liver in the other--and hope it aint your mother-in-law!

 

[ComedyPilot]

Tell them you're just going out and shut the door. Then follow them home, and find out where they live (only fair, as they know where you live) and then go round their house every 4 weeks or so and ask to talk to them about DIY, F1, Football, Come Dancing, Eastenders or whatever floats your boat.

 

[Globalti]

Many years ago when I lived in London and was "finding" myself I used to go to evening classes in philosophy so I had a head full of stuff. So when a large black woman knocked at the door and began to talk about religion (don't know which one) I engaged her in a lively discussion about life, The Universe and everything. I could see her eyes glazing over and in about 10 minutes she started making excuses then she left. One-nil.

 

[Chris Sirrus]

Ask them when the last time they saw their family was.

Unless their family converted with them, it's unlikely that they are allowed to see them very often.

 

[PBancroft]

When I first moved to the area, we had a visit from the Jehovah's Witnesses. I got rid of them by telling them I was a practicing Muslim. He did a funny sideways look at me, said "uh, OK" and walked away. I felt a bit guilty about that one but they've not been back since.

Nowadays I work with a Jehovah's Witness - it could well have been the guy I answered the door to a few years back. We've never discussed his religion. He's never brought it up, and I've not really felt the need to question him on it though occasionally I have seen him out on his rounds.

Contrary to popular beliefs about Witnesses as a whole, he is not poorly educated and is a very astute (and humorous) guy.

However... there seems to be some debate on here about what constitutes respect for another persons religion. I respect my colleague - he's a nice guy. I don't agree with his religious views but then I suspect that would be true of a lot of people I work and interact with.

There are some parts of all religions which I find distasteful, if not offensive - not all, and from a cod-Sociological point of view I can understand a societal need for the structure it brings. Maybe I've grown a bit in the last few years since my last visit, but if somebody feels the need to knock on my door and wants to talk about Jesus, then they need to be prepared to listen too - otherwise they will get the shut door treatment.