Bike mechanics say the darndest things...

[Punkawallah]

"Sorry mate, we don't have the tools to work on that."

It was a Raleigh so imperial!

Obviously not heard of ‘adjustable spanners’, then :-)

 

[Profpointy]

Obviously not heard of ‘adjustable spanners’, then :-)

He only had a metric one though

like mine !

 

[Baldy]

I once sent a young squaddie to the stores for a metric adjustable. He came back saying that the storeman said " Do you need a left or right-handed one"?

 

[Profpointy]

I once sent a young squaddie to the stores for a metric adjustable. He came back saying that the storeman said " Do you need a left or right-handed one"?

A friend's dad as an apprentice had been sent to another works to borrow the "Jim Crow". It was obviously a prank, but as he didn't know what the item was, had to go anyway. Turned out it was a bit like a plumber's pipe bender but for bending railway tracks and weight four tons. "I'll show the bastards" he thought, and got them to crane it onto a waggon and got it shunted over to his own factory. It half backfired as they just said "very funny, now take it back", but they never tried to prank him again. No idea why a term signifying American racist laws was used to refer to a piece of equipment in a Welsh colliery, but so it was.

On a more mundane level I think someone on here recounted being sent for a long-weight, so went for a skive in the canteen for an hour; had a cup of tea and read the paper

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

A very naive new HCA was sent to a Ward, to ask for Fallopian Tubes. expecting some kind of oxygen tube........

He couldn't get that right, & asked for "Filipino Tubes", which certainly caused head-scratching & a perplexed phone-call

 

[Webbo2]

Can you go get a tin of tartan paint.

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

Can you go get a tin of tartan paint.

Almost............. hydro-dipping..........

 

[ColinJ]

I once told someone that there was a huge market for dehydrated H2O because it was really easy to transport, and I think that he believed me!

 

[presta]

I once told someone that there was a huge market for dehydrated H2O because it was really easy to transport, and I think that he believed me!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bernard-In...ywords=dehydrated+water&qid=1754751069&sr=8-6

 

[ColinJ]

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bernard-In...ywords=dehydrated+water&qid=1754751069&sr=8-6

That is a very expensive joke!

 

[kingrollo]

I've just nipped it up a little.

Ergo - I haven't got a clue what the issue is - but if I say nipped I at least sound knowledgeable.

 

[Dogtrousers]

I ballsed up a BB replacement and gave up and let my LBS to sort it out.

He called me and his first words were "you're going to kick yourself".

The old bearing seal had glued itself to the chainset so firmly that I mistook it for part of the chainset itself and cleaned over it. Took him probably two minutes to scrape the seal off and fit the chainset.

Unsurprisingly I tend not to do my own repairs because I'm useless.