CycleChat Investigates - Toast

How do you cut your toast?

  • Politburo regulation rectangle halves for me

    Votes: 17 37.0%
  • Triangle halves for me, just like Reagan and Thatcher.

    Votes: 6 13.0%
  • A whole slice, because I'm a greedy git snd own two jagw.

    Votes: 17 37.0%
  • Whole slice, brutally butchered along its natural contours.

    Votes: 6 13.0%

  • Total voters
    46
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HMS_Dave

Grand Old Lady
I chop it in half with a blunt butter knife because im a savage...
 

MontyVeda

a short-tempered ill-controlled small-minded troll
well it all depends on whether I've got square bread or a bloomer loaf in... if it's just a slice of toast or two with butter, jam or whatever, I'll either not cut it, or do rectangles or triangles depending on unknown factors. (consistency is for control freaks).

Sometimes I like it lightly done and moderately yet soggily buttered when hot, other times I'll have it well done, cold and crispy with butter so thick you can see your teeth marks in. I guess it all depends on impatience, or lack of attention. (consistency is for people with toasters. I use the grill)

If I'm putting beans on it, then one full slice surrounded with four triangles (three slices in all).. unless its a bloomer, then it's two slices uncut. (consistency is the important thing here)

If I'm putting it in soup, one slice cut in to squares as floaters, the other slice in triangles for dipping.... but often it's just raw bread, mostly dipped but the corners dropped in and saved for later. (inconsistency is key for a rich and varied lifestyle).
 

twentysix by twentyfive

Clinging on tightly
Location
Over the Hill
Full slice. Hot when the butter is spread so it melts. Dump a big lump of homemade marmalade roughly spread and the job's a good un :okay:

Sadly my toaster isn't wide enough for the proper doorstep. I blame Mrs 26's shopping skills :rolleyes:
 

Salty seadog

Space Cadet...(3rd Class...)
How do you cut yours? It seems that the manner in which you prepare the nations favourite hot snack says a lot about you.

Commies, pipe smokers and cardigan wearers tend to cut theirs into 2 x Soviet style rectangles.

Freedom loving capitalists, NRA members and Smokey and the Bandit fans tend to cut theirs into 2 x traingles.

Eric Pickles, John Prescott, Mr Creosote etc eat their slice whole, probably in one bite.

So which do you favour, and why?
I think with your op you've taken it to far. Lightly toasted heavily buttered. Nobber.
 

PeteXXX

Cake or ice cream? The choice is endless ...
Location
Hamtun
I can't believe it's not...



been mentioned if the bread should be fresh from the oven/bread maker/Tesco or a several days old, almost I the point of staleness.
 
I have a certain way of making toast for me. Toaster on high, enough to make the bread go almost burnt but not charcoal. Allow it to cool in the toaster (important, it has to cool down slowly). Then return to it to make another cup of tea then apply butter and marmalade. This makes for toast that is brittle, AND IT'S THE WAY I LIKE IT SO THERE!!!!!111ONEONEONE

This is almost correct.

Initial toasting to light brown, then allowed to cool in the toaster ensuring that the bread remains deep within the slot while cooling, not sticking out.

Then a second toasting to take it to a deep, brown colour with a hint of charcoal - then allowed to fully cool within the toaster again.

Youā€™ll know when itā€™s done correctly as the slice would shatter into a billion pieces if not glued together by a generous layer of salted butter on top.

Whole slices obviously, as itā€™s impossible to cut without shattering.

Hotel and B&B owners who toast the bread and then leave it on a plate lying on itā€™s side so it goes limp should be flayed, followed by immediate expulsion to a rainforest where everything is damp and limp.
 
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Randomnerd

Bimbleur
Location
North Yorkshire
Toast can be traumatic.

Recall getting called out at some fancy dinner party for buttering the whole slice to eat with the meat paste (i know it was pate, but Iā€™m being deliberately coarse), which I slathered on right from the pot (( I know itā€™s a ramekin, but see previous notes). The ā€œrightā€ way, I was told at a whisper by my chinless neighbour, is to butter a corner, then dab on a dot of meat paste, then tuck it into your little chops, and repeat - with the butter and meat paste decanted into little piles on your plate, to be plucked at with the knife.

F**k that.

My own bread toasts well - itā€™s sourdough with a bit of rye. Needs a high heat, done as quickly as poss. Mine ought to be the same colour as my boots - a deep, orangey brown. No carbon, except if itā€™s going a bit stale and is sliced too thinly, in which case it will easily go black and be fed to the stove.

No butter till the toast is cooled somewhat, standing upright on one crust edge on the bread board while the coffee brews, leaning in against its fellow (one must eat all toast slices in pairs - never odd numbers). All steam must leave the surface freely, to avoid The Sog. Butter, at room temperature, once professionally applied with one of a potful of wooden butter spreaders, must still resemble butter once the finishing coat is applied, be it cheese, jam, marmalade or whatever.

No slicing here. Tearing yes. But mostly stuffing of torn or whole slices, depending on size, into the face. And always standing. Yet to manage to hold off long enough to sit to eat any toast, ever.
 
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