CycleChat Ride - 2 May - Manningtree/Colchester/Tiptree (i.e. north-east Essex)

[Aperitif]

Ta!
No question about who was the biggest ar5e in Essex yesterday then...the camera never lies!

 

[Wowbagger]

Very good ride yesterday - thanks, AH - and it was lovely to meet new people!

Those two Harleys' reg. nos. were SY04ONE and SY04TWO. Someone's not short of a few bob then...

 

[Speicher]

Ta!
No question about who was the biggest ar5e in Essex yesterday then...the camera never lies!

So who is that fettling with your bike then, Aperitif, I recognise the tyres.

 

[arallsopp]

Just for giggles, here's a screenie (clickable) from mapsource showing the wildly creative route we took home.

Those who actually know how to work their GPS may like to compare and contrast the nice green line leading us up in the morning (aperitif leading), to the far more exciting red line bringing us back (mine, I'm afraid).

Note to self: If anyone ever says "given we're aiming for Maldon, wouldn't it make sense to follow the big sign with 'Maldon' on it, pointing down 'Maldon Road'?" that would be an ideal time to listen.

Don't let the scale fool you. That little spike into Tollesbury accounts for the bulk of the extra 40kms.

...And it was cold down by the coast.

I'm very grateful for the good manners of the group, none of whom have crucified me (as yet).

 

[Aperitif]

To compliment Wowbagger's comment:

Registered to Mr & Mrs Austen Tatious (Old joke...but hey!) Mrs rode the trike BTW...

...and yes it was lovely to meet you both too Wow - the preferred lady and gentleman form of transport - the tandem!

The mast affixed to Mrs Wow's hat is to aid stability and allow them to move unseen around parked sailing boats. (I can't beilieve that Essex, being a big place to get lost in, allowed someone to plant a pole right where I was going to take a photo...)

 

[Aperitif]

Just for giggles, here's a screenie (clickable) from mapsource showing the wildly creative route we took home.


I'm very grateful for the good manners of the group, none of whom have crucified me (as yet).

No-one will. Collective in, collective out. We're all grown-ups (except me

 

[DJ]

Really really great write ups and reports from everyone, looks like it was a great day for everyone, reading it all makes me wish I had been there especially as my body is telling me I have to get out on the bike again soon!
Really enjoyed reading about the ride though and well done to everyone.

 

[Aperitif]

Really really great write ups and reports from everyone, looks like it was a great day for everyone, reading it all makes me wish I had been there especially as my body is telling me I have to get out on the bike again soon!
Really enjoyed reading about the ride though and well done to everyone.

Are you sure dj? Your body would have been telling you a whole lot more the day after... Joking, but it was an interesting day out with familiar faces like ultra-mad Crock on his fixed for a massive mileage. He pedalled so fast at one point, his shorts blew up! (No photos - too shocking! Lots of really nice new faces too.
And stevevw + fixedfellowfromfelixtowe racing round everywhere making sure that everyone went the wrong way and got lost and generally buggering things up.. - full of good spirit.
And Mow, getting a telling off from Bernard Hinault's ex-mechanic for not having talcum powdered inner tubes, and Gary, obviously having to protect himself from the ultra violet rays, offering good humour and nice nature to the day.
I'm still looking through my photos - they're all over the place like our route back!

 

[Aperitif]

So, my 'official' stats () for this trip, using Andy's gps + mine from home + return: 406.32km 253.95miles.

Using a theory previously explained to Sittingduck about dividing cost of 'stuff' by kms covered etc - the bike is costing pennies these days!

The gps remains, however, ultra-expensive

 

[ChrisKH]

but it was an interesting day out with familiar faces like ultra-mad Crock on his fixed for a massive mileage. He pedalled so fast at one point, his shorts blew up!

I thought that was the south London street guerrilla look. It did make for interesting viewing as he was spinning uphill, and kept the ladies entertained.

 

[Aperitif]

Here's arallsopp's screenshot as a bikeroutetoaster blow-up doll version...you can see exactly the quaint towns and villages we toured through using the navigation buttony things on the left. Click and drag to pull the map across the screen etc. Press continue to go past any 'Unresponsive Script' messages. It loads eventually. Flipping technology - I will not be beaten.
http://www.bikeroutetoaster.com/Course.aspx?course=47155

 

[dellzeqq]

so - I couldn't make this ride. But....my evil twin, Doppellzeqq, is the kind of person who would sneak out of the house while his wife (who he hadn't seen for a week prior to her return the night before) slept, as Doppellzeqq is so evil that he would rather go for a ride with his mates than
- accompany his wife to Caffe Nero (.75 hours)
- accompany his wife to the hairdressers (2.5 hours)
- accompany his wife to the beauticians (1.5 hours)
- accompany his wife to Agnes B (1 hour and how much for two t-shirts)
so here is his report.

'Woke up at 5. Removed villanous moustache. Lacked moral courage to zip up to Tower Bridge to meet 'the boys'. Thought about it, checked out Cycle Chat, left home at 7.45 to catch 8.42 from Ilford, headed north....caught by Tower Bridge (damn and blast) considered doing a Peter Braham (look it up), considered Rotherhithe Tunnel, waited, eventually went over Bridge, and up Mile End Road, where I met McBludgeon and Redjedi of this very parish, proceeded to Ilford, missed train (just) caught next train to Manningtree after amusing interlude with station staff ('is the 9.12 cancelled?' 'Maybe.') meet wholesome crew including cycling best mate User10571 (as in 'honest, darling, it was all User10571's idea') wandered off at tail of ride, saw lots of lovely southeast Essex and some of Colchester besides, fixed puncture for man in posession of possibly the worst innertube that ever came out of a fetish shop (apologies if this was indeed some form of bondage accessory and not an inner tube - what do you do with the valve?), went to Jam-boree-arama at Tiptree, magic phone rings, ride to Kelvedon at approx 25mph, wait half hour for train, catch train to Ilford, mix it with a million West Ham fans wearing hatchbacks, arrive home 5.20 and have been extremely nice husband ever since.

It was lovely meeting you all, old friends and new, and next time the real, carefree Dellzeqq will turn up with more time for cycling and less time for worrying about receipt of legal documents from The Babe, who, when all is said and done, has a point. (We've been out together on our bikes yesterday and today, so all is well).

 

[redjedi]

great pictures Topcat and well done to everyone for making it home...... eventually.

Sorry I wasn't able to say goodbye to everyone properly but the train conductor was getting a little grumpy at us for taking so long.

I'm sure Davybignuts would have enjoyed himself, especially when we saw some of the indigenous people, that Essex is famous for, waiting at the station (sorry Davy, no pics)

I did get a bit confused when , after being led astray by Stevevw, to discover that the recumbents had multiplied, I guess it's all that country air

My energy levels were kept up by the countless insects that kept aiming for my mouth. I think a snorkel is called for next time.

And after having a little chuckle to myself when I saw Aperitif's hair net, I soon envied him, when I got home and spent the rest of the night washing yet more insects out of my hair.

It was quite a shock getting back to the hustle of London after the serenity of NE Essex.

Thanks to CoG for guiding us back to safety of SW London and after dropping MacB off at Clapham Junction, I went on merry way home, dodging broken glass and drunks as I went (ahhh.. it was good to be home )

I've now recovered and looking forward to the next ride.

 

[mow]

fixed puncture for man in posession of possibly the worst innertube that ever came out of a fetish shop (apologies if this was indeed some form of bondage accessory and not an inner tube - what do you do with the valve?)

I love the way you "fixed puncture for man", like he was unable to do it himself...

By the time I'd stopped and unclipped my feet I found one man holding the bike up in the air whilst another wrestled possibly the tightest tyre ever of my wheel..! Then they have the cheek to comment on the lack of talc on my under seat rubber accessories... (lesson learnt thanks)

Mow

 

[Sittingduck]

Sorry to have missed this ride. Sounds an eventful affair