This thread has been an 'Eat as much as you like' feast of fun, where people have come time and again to the 'table' with anecdotes and memories of an Essex Day.
Tower Hill basked in milky sun at 06:30 when we set off. Manningtree by 11:05
Riding in 'primary' - red, blue and yellow sported by bleakanddivine, MacBludgeon and dellzeqq.
delthebike was toting plenty of wrist restraints in case the Essex locals got a bit rowdy - seasoned tourist with a 'not the last throw' of the Carradice - breaking in nicely!
FatFellowFromFelixtowe spent the day plotting how to usurp the carefully planned route by Auntie Helen - only to be expected from part-time cyclists I suppose.
One of the local Essex builders, a Mr Leslie Boyce, had put the building of his dream house in the hands of a trendy Francophile architect - with predictable result...nice knapped flint though.
It all started going wrong at Church Road Little Bromley.(Get the 'blame religion' bit out of the way first) stevevw was talking about wine and cheese in France and bemoaning the fact that it wasn't quite the asparagus season...I suddenly had the thought that 'he's on my right, the evening sun is dazzling me = wrong' The South West is our direction - not SS East...
Anyway, all has been explained and no, we will not be applying for the cartographer's job at Essex County Council.
Coggeshall / Coggeshall Hamlet to Kelvedon - towards Feering; right towards Inworth and down towards Tiptree. We were in a jam - and out of our confit zone...
<Football player interview mode> We have to take the positives <mode off> and a warm summery evening in nice countryside precluded a trip to the coast of the North sea at Tollesbury. (Near the Hook of Holland).
We passed through Tolleshunt Darcy to get there - and it was still there when we returned to hang a left toward Maldon. (Funnily enough on the Maldon Road) Sig bought a map for the occasion and it was employed at various times to shield us from the wind as topcat's photos illustrate. I felt more at home with the blank side than the liney, coloured bit so I played mapstands and the others perused!
topcat1, first seen in a yoga-like trance on the return from Brighton - as captured by arallsopp's time lapse photography, had refined his technique to full-on 'relaxation'!
Sig was starved and the bones were showing through while Chris was looking for his worry beads...
Following the coastline and relishing the bracing breeze arriving from the Sea we did a lap of Maldon, and with the peloton on a hunger high, we swarmed towards Southend. Well, it was a start.
Bicknacre beckoned, then South Woodham Ferrers. At Wickford we said goodbye - fearing for Sig and ChrisKH - the locals.
Usually I wear a watch, which has a built in compass. Did I wear it that day?
Our continuation led us to Great Bastards -well, that's what it felt like - South Green and Billericay.
Ravenous and willing to even stop at a MacDonalds, we managed to skirt the Town Centre (at least I had been through there a few times this year and knew the way!) and, faced with turning right or enjoying the umpteenth downhill of the day we raced downhill towards Shenfield, and the Station.
Kebabbery mon amour!
What a saviour - I even drank a cup of tea with sugar - and we feasted on fats, sugars and extruded carbohydrates. The
Halfords of cuisine for the errant cyclist, but it did the trick. arallsopp, being tech. savvy took the opportunity to make a 'real-time' posting on this thread which might have been read by anyone doing abitrary's shift but it serves as a 'mis en scene' for posterity!
All the girls and boys staggering around the kebabbery were nonchalant in t-shirts and backless tops etc as though it were a summer's day - we were warming our hands by the light of the neon and stuffing polystyrene packaging everywhere. Whatever we didn't eat that is. ilovebikes seemed extremely perky at this point - must be clubbing hours...
Once the 'chav alert' facility had thawed and we began to feel a bit uncomfortable, the epic restarted, mainly through a dark Brentwood High Street, stopping briefly for a walnutbreak and pudding from Tescogarage before once again diving onto the A12 - ah bliss! Homeward bound.
We tore off and hung a left at Gants Hill towards Ilford and a rejoin of the A118 - Clubland Boulevard - towards town. A recumbent rider is number one attraction for the lovely clubber - Andy even had a drunk run after him at one stage but he was too busy chatting to Dave#1 to notice. The Bow flyover and Stratford Olympic village in waiting welcomed us again...then Mile End with the perma-open shops.
And so to Whitechapel, Aldgate East and Tower Hill. Four good boy goodbyes.
The finale was a ride through London, along the Embankment at 04:00. Only marginally different traffic-wise to a normal commute: noisy car boom boxes, people everywhere - doing all sorts of things...Mrs Windsor's London pad was in darkness as I 'raced' past...The birds were revving up by the time I reached Hammersmith and were in full voice on arrival home - dawn just about breaking. Time for a few cups of tea and a read of the forum.
I went to bed as arallsopp was getting up - and I ended up in IKEA too!
Wierd day, but I met nice people and learned a few things. Mentioning to User1314 that we should "tear the arse out of it" (the ride) was a mistake, as his shorts will testify!
Some good lads out there and I would encourage everyone to get out and meet fellow forummers - it rocks!
Yes - and we missed Davywalnuts too! (But even your stash of malt loaf would not have been enough!)
so didn't want a photo.
