CycleChat The Novel.

[User32269]

Flinette, having just read a literary magazine, mused on the fact that some people found it difficult to grasp artistic licence in groundbreaking works of literature?

Snapping back to reality, she busied herself with the task to be beach body ready. The cordless strimmer Dirk had given her for Christmas was a delight, no more trailing flex to stumble over.

 

[Reynard]

A bright light flashed into the room. When it faded, she found herself face to face with a bloke wearing a starfleet captain's uniform of cranberry and black. Four shiny gold pips flashed on the collar.

Q

Of course it was Q. Who else could have whisked her from Devon to Kent without her noticing?

 

[colly]

I'm in hot water she thought

Maybe l need the help of @Oxo

 

[Oxo]

Inside the third hut, which was more tumbledown than ramshackle, twice as many eyes than there were pairs, stared intently at McSteel and Penelope. The eyes to the right watched McSteel and the eyes to the left watched Penelope. The centre eyes, not knowing which way to look, rolled upwards and watched the gulls.
None of the eyes spied the the human form of McSteel's premonition creeping between the flamingos towards the cannery. An almost silent whisper drifted over the foreshore, a spiritual out of body experience, but the human form it came was real and threatening.

 

[colly]

F*** me not blood Rocky again..

But no. It was...

 

[Reynard]

All the while, Q stood there with a smirk on his face, arms crossed, one foot tapping out a rhythm on the wooden floor. Bring omnipotent did have its perks after all.

 

[colly]

But he thought...
I'm more omni impotent.......Damn that gypsy curse.

 

[matiz]

Meanwhile Accy having landed safely in Leeds stole posties roadbike from his unlocked shed and started pedaling furiously heading for the south coast ,he had heard Jethro Tull were appearing at Weymouth pavilion sipporting jedward
he knew his master Lord D wouldn't be able to resist that gig it was bound to be a sellout but he had a cunning plan to gain entry disguised as a window cleaner he was pretty sure Matiz who lived nearby would lend him his double extension ladder

 

[Reynard]

"I need to take this woman back with me to the Continuum," Q thought as he watched Flinette. "She'll be a far better choice than Lwaxanna Troi. And she's prettier than Beverly Crusher. Jean-Luc Picard will be so jealous."

But first he had to wait until his scenario with the flamingos played out. It had been hard work pulling several thousand flamingos out of that battered old Team Sky cycling helmet he'd found and he'd meant to have his money's worth out of it. Except an omnipotent being didn't need money, but that wasn't really the point.

And then there were those bloody pies. In a tin.

 

[User32269]

Accy was exhausted as he approached the matiz residence. He regretted not removing postman's u lock from the front wheel. The one berth caravan stood precariously on a stack of bricks. The discarded White Lightening bottles scattered about the ground dazzled as the sunlight illuminated the blue plastic. The moss covered outer wall of the caravan displayed a knob and balls that had been scraped, displaying the original cream paint, along with the words Wash Me.

 

[User32269]

*****Editorial Announcement******​

Dear CC literati,
I have sent a copy of the work to date to my esteemed literary agency, Throbmore Rimmer & Feltch, to gain some feedback. They sent copies out in order to obtain possible quotes for the dust cover.
Here are some of the comments.

Zips along faster than Blazed up a 25% hairpin. A bodice ripping gender bending roller coaster of a read.
Cycling Plus magazine

This is a book. A really booky book. The bookiest book what I have had read to me. I'm buying millions, lots of millions of it. It's cheaper than breeze blocks. For my wall. My big wall. A beautiful book wall.
Donald Trump

Lasts longer than my tantric shenanigans, but easier on my old back.
Sting

A fantastic read, I was discussing with Team Sky legal staff how supprisingly common the surname Froome is, and the fact that it pops up in works of fiction should surprise nobody. This book is better than jamming your nads on a MK1 Chopper gearstick on Belgium cobbled roads.
Chris Froome, Asthmatic.

It needs cuts.
Theresa May pm

More than a book. A facet of modern Britain, thrown into sharp focus, yet harking back and acknowledging the debt it owes to the great literature of the past.
I strongly feel this book should be the only title on the school curriculum in this country. Such is the devastating power this masterpiece wields.
Ronnie Pickering

 

[matiz]

Matiz reluctantly agreed to use his expert ladder handling skills to help Accy gain entry to the the theatre after he had explained about the restraining order that Ian Anderson had on Lord D
he managed to squeeze Accy through tho part opened window of the private box where he found Lord D leaning over the balcony blowing kisses down to his hero,Ian was so unnerved he had to stand on two legs to play his instrument, the local constabulary had been informed and were closing in fast what was Accy to do

 

[Reynard]

A couple of thousand flamingos materialized on the stage.

"Oooooops," said Q. "I hadn't meant to do that..."

But then again, he'd been distracted by the large orangutang swinging from box to box.

"Ooooooook?" said the large, shaggy-haired primate as he plucked away at the pink tulle of Lord Drago's tutu. L-space did take one into strange places sometimes.

 

[matiz]

The local population of feral seagulls fought off the flamingoes giving Accy time to drag Lord D out through the stage door and head for the seafront where has luck would have it the beach donkeys had finished for the day and were being loaded on the truck Accy took a flying leap onto Mickey Dripping while his master mounted the sturdier looking Colin Cucumber they pointed the beasts west and headed at full gallop for Broadchurch just down the coast Accy felt they would be safe there it was a quiet little place where nothing ever happened.

 

[Oxo]

Q mused over his problem. What I need is..”That’s exactly what you need Q I tell you.” The voice inside head told him. “You need a committee, a panel, of all the interested parties where you can sit down side by side until you tease out all the answers from what to do with the pies to whatever happened to Countdown since Carol Vorderman left. The panel could be a model in solving the complex problems of the modern world, held in high esteem, even shown on TV.”
The more Q thought about the idea the more he liked it. All he needed now was to make sure he got the right chairperson, he did know it wasn’t going to be the orangutan, he was going back to the library.