Horrible, and I hope the perpetrators get syphillis, or something equally unpleasant. Oh, how I wish I had the ability to lay curses on people.
But I did like:
"He said: “The ambulance crew was picking bits of orange out of my eye.
“They were discussing whether it was a satsuma or a tangerine."
I know some people might think that odd, insensitive even, but I think if it was me, it would be a good way of distracting me and keeping me calmer and more cheerful.