Cyclists that make you laugh (but you shouldn't)

[tyred]

I rode head first into the hedge before Christmas

No other vehicles involved. Nobody to be seen anywhere.

The reason excuse? I was riding one of the old Elswicks I've been working on recently, the gent's model is fitted with a lovely chrome plated period dynamo lighting set and after wiring it up, I had took a quick ride down the road in the dark(rural, unlit and basically no traffic) to check if they were bright enough to be useable and I was looking over my shoulder checking out the tail light when the hedge jumped out in front of me

 

[mickle]

Many years ago when he was a teenager my mates brother rode out with the Hereford wheelers. One Sunday morn as he was riding down a long hill into town to join them for the off a thought entered his head - 'how easy is it to ride with ones hands crossed'? Travelling at a decent speed he fell in a big pile on Belmont hill. He'd grazed himself quite badly and was covered in blood when he arrived and my how they took the piss when he told them what he'd done. 15mins later they set off, him near the front. Halfway down bridge street he noticed that his Italian ribbon bar tape had started to unfurl from damage sustained in the crash. Rather than rewind, unwind or simply ignore it he thought it would be a good idea to yank at the tape. Really hard. His front wheel went sideways and he went down, taking most of the Hereford wheelers down with him. I don't think he rode with them again.

 

[661-Pete]

Lots of folks laugh about their clipless moments, but I have a 'clipped' moment to remember. Way back in the 1970s when I was on a grand tour of England, one one very long day's run when I was absolutely knackered, I reached the cross-roads in the middle of Glossop, on a Saturday afternoon.

My straps were not tight - I never tighten them much.

So, I came to a halt and my mind went blank. My brain simply refused to send the signal to my foot: put your ruddy foot down!

I went down in classic 'clipless moment' style. In front of all the shoppers. Nowadays it's commonplace, but this was twenty years before the first SPD appeared on the market!

 

[subaqua]

1st day on new bike, SPDs for 1st time, a couple of close calls at junctions. i used to ride the old bike up the slipway on the towpath. I had to put it into bottom gear to do this. tried it on new bike and put it into bottom, ratios were very different as i pedalled the front of bike lifted rear slipped and I ended up on my side . thankfully nobody saw me .

at the end of this first week of SPD i stopped at junction of Grove Green road and Leyton High road in the ASL clipped my left fooot out, and tried to put right foot down . cue a Delboy fallover moment. it gave the driver of the Golf behind me a good giggle

 

[mark barker]

I always chuckle when I see lycra!

On a personal note, I rode into the town centre and locked my bike up at my usual bike rack. Returned about an hour later and found my bike had gone. Phoned the police to report it and then remembered that I'd used my old bike and that was locked right in front of me! The following call to the police was quite embarrassing!

 

[PpPete]

I made myself laugh once. Dropping off the back of a group ride in the country, I pulled over to take my jacket off. Putting a foot down on the grass verge, I discovered that it wasn't higher than the road surface as I thought, but lower, with long grass. Result: I kept on leaning until I went right over sideways, and ended upside down in the ditch under the hedge, still 'on' my bike, wheels spinning lazily in the air.

Fortunately, I wasn't at the very back, and someone came along and pulled me out. Once free, I couldn't help giggling over what I must have looked like. I only wish someone had got it on camera.

Similar to mine then.... with pictures, here

 

[PK99]

[QUOTE 1291460"]
. After the third reckless undertake he was so busy not concentrating that he rode straight into the back of a stationary car.
[/quote]



spotted a guy yesterday on the Kingston road in Merton, no more that 2 feet behind bus drafting at around 20 mph with his hand in his pockets - oh how I would have laughed!

 

[HLaB]

Lots of folks laugh about their clipless moments, but I have a 'clipped' moment to remember. Way back in the 1970s when I was on a grand tour of England, one one very long day's run when I was absolutely knackered, I reached the cross-roads in the middle of Glossop, on a Saturday afternoon.

My straps were not tight - I never tighten them much.

So, I came to a halt and my mind went blank. My brain simply refused to send the signal to my foot: put your ruddy foot down!

I went down in classic 'clipless moment' style. In front of all the shoppers. Nowadays it's commonplace, but this was twenty years before the first SPD appeared on the market!

I found straps worse than spd/sl's. My strap moment was cycling to the train station one early morning; in between the road section is a short footbridge with the usual chicane and I went down. No body had been around for ages it was early on a winters morning, pitch dark; that moment however somebody appeared. A nice chap but it only added to my embarrassment he thought it was ice; I should have accepted that Straps and regular shoes dont mix well

 

[Davywalnuts]

Monday night, whilst out in the pouring rain, I needed a wee stop, so I pulled into the first place I could find, what was the car park at Virginia Water, here :- http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=q&s...08VICcJcbSySm0X8wtzXEw&cbp=12,315.85,,0,-2.32 . I was too busy checking out where it was safe to wee and what not to notice the big metal barrier was closed and cycled into it, but luckily into it at a slight angle so the wheel deflected and I went sideways into it. I was then stuck as the front skewer got wedged under the lower part of the barrier and I got sandwiched between bike and barrier..

I giggled and almost wet myself in doing so.

If I wasnt on the winter beast, am sure the Zebra would have been written off..

 

[dellzeqq]

I've never met anybody who can cycle upside down as well as Davy.

 

[Davywalnuts]

I've never met anybody who can cycle upside down as well as Davy.

*giggles away*

 

[Bayerd]

Many years ago when he was a teenager my mates brother rode out with the Hereford wheelers. One Sunday morn as he was riding down a long hill into town to join them for the off a thought entered his head - 'how easy is it to ride with ones hands crossed'? Travelling at a decent speed he fell in a big pile on Belmont hill. He'd grazed himself quite badly and was covered in blood when he arrived and my how they took the piss when he told them what he'd done. 15mins later they set off, him near the front. Halfway down bridge street he noticed that his Italian ribbon bar tape had started to unfurl from damage sustained in the crash. Rather than rewind, unwind or simply ignore it he thought it would be a good idea to yank at the tape. Really hard. His front wheel went sideways and he went down, taking most of the Hereford wheelers down with him. I don't think he rode with them again.

This post needs a warning, do NOT drink anything whilst reading it!

 

[GrasB]

Out with 2 friends doing a fairly hard ride, an upstart gets on our tail & keeps up with us. He's not really strong enough to keep up but keeps on trying to break away. As we get to a more technical section of the ride we slow down & the upstart goes for it up the inside of us, he doesn't look down the road as he goes into a hard head down sprint for all of 15m before hitting a cutting verge almost 90 degrees to the direction of travel. We stop to see if he's okay to find him literally spitting out a mouthful of mud from the freshly ploughed field.

 

[Night Train]

I made myself laugh once. Dropping off the back of a group ride in the country, I pulled over to take my jacket off. Putting a foot down on the grass verge, I discovered that it wasn't higher than the road surface as I thought, but lower, with long grass. Result: I kept on leaning until I went right over sideways, and ended upside down in the ditch under the hedge, still 'on' my bike, wheels spinning lazily in the air.

Fortunately, I wasn't at the very back, and someone came along and pulled me out. Once free, I couldn't help giggling over what I must have looked like. I only wish someone had got it on camera.

I know a Land Rover that did that, three point turn on a narrow lane using the grass verge to reverse onto except it wasn't a verge. The grass in the ditch was just cut level with the road. The Land Rover ended up upended and standing on its back door.
I did likewise with my own Land Rover later that day when I pulled over on a similar verge and laid it flat on its side.

No funny cycling ones but when I had my new Harley Davidson I rode it home one day and then got off it forgetting to put the kickstand down. It pinned me to my driveway gates leaning on my inner thigh. I had to phone for help
Another time I just fell off it at the end of the road and my 70 year old Mum had to help me pick it up.

 

[Arch]

Another time I just fell off it at the end of the road and my 70 year old Mum had to help me pick it up.

Blimey, how big is your Mum!?

I trapped myself once - pinned my finger to the seat tube of my Galaxy while fitting a new front mech to the tube - the mech just clamped onto my finger. I was in the flat, and both the land line and and my mobile were out of reach. I did wonder if I'd just die there, starved to death clamped to a bicycle, before I summoned the strength to unclamp it by levering it out again with the other hand.