Dead neighbour etiquette

[Pat "5mph"]

The funeral could be yonks, crematoriums are v.busy, had to wait 13 days before my dad could be "dealt" with, I can't wait that long.

Nevertheless, you should wait

 

[snorri]

Don't leave it as long as I did.
This reminds me of the death of the father of a schoolfriend of mine. The father had been compiling records of local marine activity throughout his life, I knew the son had no interest in them and I very much wanted to get my hands on the records but didn't like to ask. About 30 years on and his widow died and my friend came home to clear out the family home and paid me a visit at the same time. At long last I plucked up the nerve to ask about the records and was told they had been irretrievably disposed of the day before. We didn't think anyone would be interested in them he said. Grrrrr.

 

[strofiwimple]

Glad to see compassion is alive and well. Just throw yourself upon her mercy-admit your a heartless opportunist who has designs on her still warm, love of her life, husband's stuff-that should do the trick

 

[avsd]

A strange thread given that the key fact is that a person is dead - whcih is, as the OP said is very sad. Does not make me feel proud to be a member of Cyclechat.

 

[Mugshot]

A few years ago I had a customer that had lost her husband a few years previously, he was a fisherman (lobster and crab pots), she told me that she had had other local fisherman calling around the day after her husbands death asking if they could have/buy the pots and also take over the grounds which he had fished. She was so distressed by it that she actually gave everything away to the first person that came knocking. She was still bitter and upset about how she and her husbands memory had been treated.

 

[Hover Fly]

Just think, the widow will be terribly distressed, and the vultures are already closing in. Perhaps she will have difficulty making ends meet in the near future and has the expense of a funeral on top. She may need to sell his possessions, including his bikes, for all she can get.

A few years ago a chap I knew died, he had a large collection of model locos, hand made by famous makers, the very next day people who should know better were starting to turn up on the doorstep trying to convince his daughter that he had promised such and such model to them, he hadn't and she knew it, others were trying to make ludicrously small offers. Thank god she was strong willed enough to resist them. In the end about a year later they went to auction, but not before she had offered me first pick of any one of them for the simple reason that I had helped her over the traumatic time following the death, simple things like organising the certificate, funeral arrangements and so on. There's a moral there somewhere.

 

[TheDoctor]

Sorry, but this strikes me as a bit sick.
Do you really think it's on to try and get stuff from a grieving widow?
In what strange and messed-up reality is that even vaguely acceptable?

 

[caimg]

In fairness, I think we all accept it's a sad event / situation. BUT cycle chat has just showed what an exceptionally helpful community it is by helping to focus on the question in hand

 

[Bluenite]

It's not like he really would do it, you only grave rob relations.

 

[Manonabike]

A strange thread given that the key fact is that a person is dead - whcih is, as the OP said is very sad. Does not make me feel proud to be a member of Cyclechat.

I was reading and thinking the same thing.... what a bunch of loosers posting on this thread.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

A few years ago a chap I knew died, he had a large collection of model locos, hand made by famous makers, the very next day people who should know better were starting to turn up on the doorstep trying to convince his daughter that he had promised such and such model to them, he hadn't and she knew it, others were trying to make ludicrously small offers. Thank god she was strong willed enough to resist them. In the end about a year later they went to auction, but not before she had offered me first pick of any one of them for the simple reason that I had helped her over the traumatic time following the death, simple things like organising the certificate, funeral arrangements and so on. There's a moral there somewhere.

I had the opposite experience of someone I knew at the local model railway club. He took some of my models to be 'repaired' without my knowledge*, and then died.
His wife sold the lot before I knew what had happened.

To be fair, they weren't worth much, but, still.

* - Apparently he had a habit of this and a few models mysteriously vanished over the years. Hmmmm.

 

[PaulSB]

One of my neighbours died last week, it's very sad, he was only in his fifties.

Although not what you'd call pals, we'd regularly have a chat, usually about bikes and motorbikes, he restored them. There's a bike in his garage that I'd like. I mean, I wish he was still alive but he's not..............I know his wife has zero interest his hobby, he told me often enough, they didn't have children either, I supose she'll just have the garage cleared out (it was rented). How long would be appropriate before bringing up the subject with her?

I rarely read this section of CC and just stumbled across this. The title caught my eye as I thought it would discuss how to express concern etc. to a neighbour you perhaps don't know well.

It's clear you don't have any sort of real relationship with this family and no genuine concern for the loss. I find your attitude quite appalling.

If you're lucky the widow might think to offer you the bike. It's the sort if thing people do WHEN they are ready - not that you deserve it in anyway.

 

[asterix]

MarkF, you're testing us aren't you? Some of us have failed.

 

[Brandane]

I had the opposite experience of someone I knew at the local model railway club. He took some of my models to be 'repaired' without my knowledge*, and then died.
His wife sold the lot before I knew what had happened.

To be fair, they weren't worth much, but, still.

* - Apparently he had a habit of this and a few models mysteriously vanished over the years. Hmmmm.

I would have thought he could only get away with this once!

 

[ufkacbln]

I would have thought he could only get away with this once!

Model locomotive collectors are an eclectic binch.

I would not be surprised to find a few undead amongst them